Author: SpaceManAndy

Dear SpaceManAndy,

I have a problem — I am too desirable.

I realize this doesn’t sound like a problem. I mean, who wouldn’t want
girls and guys throwing themselves at you, demanding your attention,
and wanting your mouth on their body. But you see, the problem is,
sometimes you get attention from someone you’re not interested in.
Someone who is just undeserving of all of the awesome that you have to
offer. This is what I am currently struggling with.

There’s this person who will just not leave me alone, or take no for
an answer. They’re constantly texting, Facebooking, and Tweeting at me
to hang out and be their bffl. Andy, I do not want to be their bffl,
their bff, their bf, or their f. I just want them to leave me alone.

The last time I tried to hang out with them and give them a chance,
the whole evening was very awkward, and ended with them trying
multiple times to put their mouth on mine. I’m all for casual hookups
and mouth on mouth interactions, but they just don’t do it for me. Too
pushy and awkward. I almost pulled a neck muscle trying to dodge their
many advances.

So what do I do, Dr. SpaceMan? Drop some knowledge on me.

xoxo,
It’s Not Me, It’s You

Dear It’s Not Me,

It is you…