SpaceManAndy’s advice for Hating Gerbils in Bmore

This week, SpaceManAndy deals with the delicate issue of …gerbils. Do you have a problem with gerbils or something else entirely? EMAIL ANDY for some advice, he’s dying to help you!!

Dear SpaceManAndy,

My daughters have gerbils. They’re very annoying. They make a lot of noise, especially at night, and they smell really, really bad. How can I get rid of them without making my daughters cry?

Thanks,
Hating gerbils in Bmore

Dear Hating,I think that this problem, like most problems can be solved combining the wisdom of sitcoms, and Pokemon. For years, sitcoms have told us that if your child’s pet dies, you can just buy a new one and hope the kid won’t notice. If it looks different, hilarity ensues. Unfortunately, tears are often involved (sitcoms often try to teach the lesson that it’s wrong to lie to children, but where’s the fun in that?).

This is where Pokemon comes in. Sometimes Pokemon Pokemons Pokemen evolve, which makes them look different. Maybe stinky, annoying, loud gerbils evolve into something fun, like shots of whiskey (they’re super effective against sobriety). How can your kids argue with that? Or just say they went to live on a farm. My mother still believes this to be true of her childhood dog.

I don’t know. I guess that could work, maybe?

-SpaceManAndy