Dixon pleads not guilty; summons wizard as defense attorney

Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon plead not guilty today on multiple charges brought against her including theft and perjury, as the result of a four year probe by the state prosecutor’s office. Despite the fact that her lawyer Arnold Weiner is a well known and seemingly effective defense attorney, the Dixon camp is seeking further courtroom […]

Crime and Punishment: Judge sentences criminal to watch every Orioles game

At what had seemed to be a rather routine trial today for defendant Ray Ray Richards, charged with reckless endangerment in a dirtbike incident, Baltimore City Circuit Court judge Judge Sylvester B. Cox has handed down a sentence that defies logic. “Mr. Richards, for your wanton lack of regard for the safety of the public […]

Southeastern District to be renamed, placed under dome

After recent reports of a massive shooting spree resulting in the death of two and wounding of 17 people on Sunday, and with 13 murders thus far this year and dozens of shootings, the Southeastern District of Baltimore is now to be renamed “The Terrordrome” and placed under the world’s most massive geodesic dome. The […]

Shropshire, you’re finished.

I spotted this article in the Sun the other day about Sam Shropshire and his troubles with being accused of fondling a midshipman from the Naval Academy recently, and while the legal and otherwise circumstantial evidence is pending in some sort of media-circus court case, there’s one thing that cannot be denied and should be […]

BREAKING NEWS – Gang of Pogo Sticking youths terrorize inner harbor

Commuters are reporting this morning that a group of children, aged 8-16, are armed with pogo sticks and are rampantly pogoing throughout the Harborplace thoroughfare, smiling widely. One commuter who wishes to remain anonymous stated, “Yeah them kids is lookin all wild eyed and smilin, they gotta be on somethin!!” No word yet on whether […]