Dear Sheila Dixon: *please* run in 2015

Sheila, I’m sure you’re well aware that your mayoral successor-by-default, Stephanie Rawlings Blake, recently won Baltimore’s illustrious and completely amazing primary election, essentially guaranteeing her mayorship after the general election. Just as you were finally voted into office having served as mayor-by-default after Martin O’Malley saved us all from BGE rate hikes when taking office […]

Own a piece of Baltimore’s corrupt history!

In what simply must be the greatest news ever to hit my cerebral cortex in no less than twelve lifetimes, disgraced former mayor Sheila Dixon’s Xbox 360 – purchased using absconded gift cards for the poor – is now available for bid on eBay, according to The Baltimore Sun (“Dixon’s Xbox up for sale on […]

5 Alternative uses for the male/female statue

Since 2004, Baltimore has been forced to acknowledge the fact that it for some reason commissioned a guy to build received the gift of a 51-foot tall metal statue with a glowing heart in front of Penn Station from a private organization, enjoying a level of eyesore that causes even the blindest infant to wince. […]

Sweeney to Dixon: GTFO

Judge Sweeney is the man. He finally had the chance to voice his opinion today regarding Sheila Dixon and her trainwreck of a trial at her sentencing, sending her on her way to her remaining days of shame and relative obscurity (…and an $83k pension). His statement is a deliberate, nut kicking wakeup call to […]

The Dixon trial aftermath – hilarious edition

The entire virtual and physical city of Baltimore has been positively riveted and glued to any and all media sources for the past two weeks during Mayor Sheila Dixon’s trial. Despite the fact that her hired wizard managed to stave off several convictions of theft in the first of two trials against her, a single […]

Dixon pleads not guilty; summons wizard as defense attorney

Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon plead not guilty today on multiple charges brought against her including theft and perjury, as the result of a four year probe by the state prosecutor’s office. Despite the fact that her lawyer Arnold Weiner is a well known and seemingly effective defense attorney, the Dixon camp is seeking further courtroom […]