Rants $ The City That Breeds

The City That Breeds » Entries tagged with "rants"

The return of Angry Mike – A love letter to Orbitz

March 29th, 2010 | 2 Comments

Guess what folks, Angry Mike is still pretty angry and apparently his ire has been piqued by the discount travel service Orbitz. Quake with fear, Orbitz, Angry Mike is gunning for YOU!! A Love Letter to Orbitz By “Love” I mean: “Go Fuck Yourself” … Read entire article »

Filed under: Consumerism

Green Beer! Ugh, green beer.

March 16th, 2010 | 4 Comments

Don’t get me wrong folks. Theoretically green beer on St. Patrick’s Day is a fun way to be festive without wearing 265754 pieces of stupid flair, wigs, leotards, “DRINK ME I’M IRISH LOL” shirts, whatever. And once you’ve had your penny Guinness, your dollar Jameson, your two penny XTREME Guinness Bawls Guarana Car Bomb XTREME you’re more than ready and willing to swill down anything green, whether it’s beer or bong water. But GOD DAMN, I drank a few of these green abominations this past Saturday- essentially Miller Lite with water and food coloring – and I do declare I’ll never stray from the brown beers again. …until tomorrow. When I do it again. Dammit. Happy Actual St. Patrick’s Day everyone. … Read entire article »

Filed under: Boozetime!

A simple case for Google Fiber or: Angry Mike hates Comcast

March 12th, 2010 | 12 Comments

With all this talk about Google possibly coming to town and laying down a fiber optic network the likes of which the world hath never seen, I would make it a point to note that in doing so, Google would be making an enormous humanitarian leap in releasing the city of Baltimore from the grips of Comcast, one of the only area providers of high speed internet. It is with this thought in mind that I anxiously present to you Angry Mike, a displeased (former) Comcast customer and former housemate of mine. Feel his pain, point and laugh. Take it away, Angry Mike! … Read entire article »

Filed under: Entertainment, Politics

Dispatches from the unusually large snow storm – pt. 3

February 17th, 2010 | 4 Comments

If you’re for whatever reason adverse to all caps, stop reading now. But I need to get this out. HEY I HAVE AN IDEA!!! LET’S GO JOGGING IN FOUR FEET OF SNOW!!! ZERO VISIBILITY? BRO, I JUST GOTTA JOG!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET!! EVEN BETTER, ON A SIDEWALK THAT ONLY HAS 40% OF THE NORMAL SPACE FOR WALKING, SO I CAN TOTALLY BE IN THE WAY ALL THE TIME!!! SHOVELING? WHA? HELPING OUT? NAH IT’S COOL!! MY SENSE OF COMMUNITY IS SO BLUNTED I’M JUST GONNA RUN AROUND WHILE EVERYONE ELSE BREAKS THEIR BACKS MOVING GIGANTIC AMOUNTS OF SNOW!!! WELP, I GUESS BECAUSE THERE’S SNOW ON THE GROUND IT’S JUST TOOOOOO HARD TO PICK UP MY DOG’S SHIT. FAR BE IT FROM ME TO TAKE THE DOG SHIT BACK TO … Read entire article »

Filed under: Entertainment

Mealtime! #18 – How much should a turkey wrap cost?

December 1st, 2009 | 5 Comments

What: Turkey Wrap Where: Cafe Azafran (3700 San Martin Dr, Johns Hopkins Homewood) How Much: $8.50 Synopsis: It’s not often that I would use Mealtime! to disparage something I’m eating, but this turkey wrap – despite its decent flavor – was small and exceedingly expensive considering you could just as easily get the same thing one block away at a place like Hopkins Deli. I mean, daaaaayamn it’s expensive. Anybody else out there have an opinion on the matter? How much should a turkey wrap cost? View the Mealtime! Map … Read entire article »

Filed under: Mealtime