Shropshire, you’re finished.

aldermanshropshire I spotted this article in the Sun the other day about Sam Shropshire and his troubles with being accused of fondling a midshipman from the Naval Academy recently, and while the legal and otherwise circumstantial evidence is pending in some sort of media-circus court case, there’s one thing that cannot be denied and should be considered the most damning evidence of all: Shropshire’s pedosmile.

It is a well documented and scientific fact that pedosmiles equal guilt (take the quiz if you don’t believe me!), and Shropshire has an award-winning platinum status pedosmile. Granted, the pedosmile generally only applies to cases of underage molestation, but in this case it is indicative of improper sexual groping of a 21-year old as well.

BEWARE THE PEDOSMILE. IT NEVER LIES.

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