SpaceManAndy’s Advice for Stuck in Squaresville

Dear SpaceManAndy,

I’ve become really lame. I want to blame my job, having to be up before 7 everyday but I feel like it’s other things too. I’m fresh out of college (where I was in a sorority and had fun all the time), and I live in downtown Baltimore so this should be my fun, crazy phase of life, but it’s just not. I need some motivation to go out and embrace youth before I’m 45 and regretting staying in every night.

Sad Sorority Sister Stuck in Squaresville

Dear Stuck in Squaresville,

Let’s see… Early 20s, live in a vibrant downtown area, college degree, 9-5 job. You really have no excuse. Except that you haven’t asked me yet. But now you have. Good news, everyone! I’m going to teach you how to have a social life (do as I say not as I do).

1) Learn to love public transportation (and cabs)

No, it’s not so that you can save money on gas. It’s not even because parking is just a fucking nightmare in Fed Hill, it’s so that you can drink. The institution of Designated Driver is a very important one… for those that don’t live in a city.

You and I are lucky! If we want to go get fucked up and not drive home, our friends don’t have to draw straws if we don’t want to. We can ALL go get fucked up and not worry! Learn the bus system, The Charm City Circulator is 100% free, though it does stop running early. If the bus isn’t running, or too many line transfers seem too complicated, just grab a cab. It’s Smalltimore. Wherever you’re going, a cab should only cost you, max $20.

Now that you can maneuver around the city AND get booze, let’s find some places for you to go.

2) Your local bar

I’ve advocated the importance of having a local bar in the past. I still feel that way. If you can establish yourself as a regular somewhere you’ll always have somewhere to go. Go there often enough and get to know the other regulars, you’ll have yourself your very own Cheers (and it’s Baltimore, so you might even get some minorities)! Even if you don’t know any customers (you will in time), you can at least chat up the bartender (and some bartenders will throw you some discounts for being a regular, but only if you are a good tipper). Now, whenever you have cabin fever, you have some place to get out for a minute, even if it’s just for one drink after work. As an added benefit, when all your friends go “OMG, we want to do something but don’t know what!” you have a fallback plan. And, perhaps the best part is that it lets you drink on a weeknight without looking like an alcoholic!

Drinking alone in your apartment:

Drinking with people you randomly meet in a bar:

BUT SPACEMANANDY, you say, won’t I get bored going to the same place all the time? Yes. Yes you will, but if you be a little patient with me, I’ll get to other stuff you can do. Damn, my I don’t know why, but you’re kind of a bitch in my head. Just be patient. JEEZE!

3) Find a regular activity

It seems like you have problems motivating yourself to get out of the house. Find something you want to do, and make it essentially an obligation. I just finished up a season with a skeeball league, and while I can’t really recommend that (it was overpriced for a 50 cent game, and you only get to roll max 2 rounds per week… do the math)

but there are plenty of other things. Baltimore Sports and Social Club offers things like dodgeball, softball, and kickball. You can have something that you can do out of the house, you can meet people, and you can get some exercise in. There are other organizations like them, like United Social Sports that has that waste of $46 Skeeball league as well as Bocce. If you’re not into sports, why not sign up for a dance class, or an art class. The point being that you find something that’s weekly, bi-weekly, even monthly, whatever, just something that you feel obliged to do outside of your house that you actually enjoy.

4) Social Media

I cannot advocate Twitter enough here. Follow lots of local people. Baltimore, specifically has an amazing network of young professionals that are very active. There’s always something fun going on, like a free 4D movie at the aquarium, or Bacon and Beer Happy Hour at Bad Decisions, or a gathering of local food trucks.

Twitter is the #1 place to find out about all this stuff. And while it’s not exactly “social media,” keep an eye on Groupon and Living Social to see if there’s fun stuff you want to do.

Just keep these things in mind. Work on making good friends in your area that will motivate you to get out and do something, even if that something is just going over to their house for a movie.

I don’t know, I guess that could work. Maybe?

SpaceManAndy