J&D’s Bacon Lube is, unfortunately, very real

And so it was, 2.5 years ago when the world was at the height of its almost irritating obsession with bacon when someone emailed me the apparent existence of a product – J&D’s Bacon Lube. Known for their oddball bacon products like Bacon Salt, Bacon Mayonnaise and various other bacon-related foods (but no actual bacon) it appeared as though J&D Foods was moving into the adult lubricant market. My general reaction was something like “WHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY” but it seemed almost entertaining enough to try out, if for no other reason than to add to my Museum of Unusual Products Involving Food (MUPIF) – which actually exists – but it was later revealed “unfortunately” to be an April Fool’s prank by the pranking pranksters at J&D’s.

Prior to that, however, they included an email signup form for those interested in “testing” the lubricant. Which apparently, like myself, over 3,000 signed up for because shortly before the holiday I received an email literally titled “Baconlube is here” with this lil’ paragraph right in the middle:

After 3 years of development and countless lives ruined, baconlube is REAL. So who’s responsible for this creation coming to life? An intern named Martin, who sacrificed and offended his taste buds on sample after failed sample, and the barrage of emails we got from the members of the Meat-Flavored Lubricant Society. OK, that society is not real. But we assure you that baconlube is.

Welp, here we are folks. Bacon Lube. I guess if you love bacon and the use of lubricant for your …activities this is the perfect product for you! Me personally, I still have that bottle of bacon salt someone gave me three years ago so I’ll just dump that into a vat of Vaseline and mix it all up real good. Savings.

3 thoughts on “J&D’s Bacon Lube is, unfortunately, very real

  1. First of all, I don’t know what you mean by “Unfortunately.” Second of all, Please, for the love of god, don’t add gritty salt to vaseline and use it for your… activities. This has been a public service announcement.

  2. you need to have an exhibit of the MUPIF.  depending on the level of your collections, i could probably make some donations to futher said collection.  or be a co-exhibitor…..

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