GET RAW AT THE RAW BARGE! (New addition to Tiki Barge)

Word has it that the once embattled and now seemingly acceptable Tiki Barge (500 Harborview Dr., Inner Harbor) is applying to expand its operations, in order to include a lil’ ol’ thing they like to call the “Raw Barge.” Billed as a seafood restaurant, this Raw Barge has one of the most comedy-ripe names I’ve heard in quite a while, harkening back to the days of Green Cilantro and NADDs (or possibly Shirley’s Honey Hole).

The Raw Barge – a leather daddy barge? TUESDAY NIGHTS! BEAR NIGHT! GET RAW AT THE RAW BARGE! RAW DAWGS ONLY!!

Possibly a vegan-friendly barge that serves only raw foods? As we all have learned thanks to the infinite wisdom of raw foods enthusiasts, steaming a carrot DESTROYS ANY AND EVERY NUTRIENT WITHIN, and what better way to enjoy a platter of raw turnip, than on a barge?

Or possibly a barge for watching WWE’s Monday Night Raw – I know I’d be there each and every Monday!

Regardless of the name, after its initial summer of too-much-success-for-Harborview-residents and a brief flirtation with having its liquor license suspended (for the entirety of Harborview), which was fairly quickly reversed, Tiki Barge seems to have settled in this past season with little noise or discomfort (at least, until their liquor license goes back for renewal!). With any luck this seafood addition will enhance the experience and further move its initial image from “Jersey Shore reject hang out” to “Nice place to sit, eat some oysters and then get horrible cramps by swimming too soon afterward*.”

Best of luck to you, Raw Barge!

*yes I am aware that this is just something your parents tell you and isn’t based in actual medical fact, cram it

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *