TLC’s Virgin Diaries: Holy CRAP

So there I am, sitting in my living room last night wondering what to watch after the Ravens much-to-be-expected W over Cleveland when I suddenly see this promo on The “Learning” Channel – TLC – whose programming could be used for the forces of good but instead typically highlight gigantic people having babies into toilets. This here special Virgin Diaries features, pretty obviously, people who either choose to be virgins or have had no luck losing their virginity at somewhat older (30-35) age ranges. It’s mostly dull; a trio of virgin girls living together in British Columbia waiting for marriage, a lonely guy in Maryland who just can’t seem to get laid, …

…and then this couple, the male counterpart of which is 31 and has never kissed a girl. Coz well, he’s waiting for marriage. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, for the most part, nothing really. These uh, “kids” are pretty happy together and are very excited about being able to kiss! And have the foreplay! And it is totally and utterly and horrifically awkward when they finally do kiss at the altar…

… and continue to do so afterward every few minutes during the reception! I’m not even exaggerating when I say I had to physically turn away from the screen during these scenes, that’s how awkward it is. But hey, they’re happy and I’m rendered sterile. It’s a win-win!

So set your DVR’s folks, if you missed it and you want to be out-awkwarded by these guys, you won’t be disappointed. One Youtube commenter in particular put it pretty succinctly, actually:

i think i need to watch 2 girls one cup ..just? to feel normal again