If you’re like me, you’ve seen the commercials on the telly for Drive Angry approximately 28 factorial times, and you probably think to yourself “yup, another shitty action movie starring shitty Nicholas Cage 4 Fast 12 Furious wannabe!” I definitely thought that, and quite fortunately I know better now; in fact, here’s a better way of showcasing the movie that puts the entire thing in a different light. Bear the 2 minute trailer and see if you agree:
Seems pretty different from just another shitty Nicholas Cage Driving Cars and Shooting People movie, right? The devil’s involved? Some sort of cult? Well, you’re half right. Drive Angry is certainly not a “good movie” by any stretch of the imagination – its purile, over the top ridiculousness washing any any inkling that character development or deliberate 3D bloodspatter won’t constantly be flying in your face within the first 5 minutes during the opening scene. An opening scene, which sets the stage with Terrible Cage Line Delivery in a 3D Hairpiece, cars flipping, hands being severed by sawed off shotguns, explosions, and all the other stuff that will make you audibly laugh and wonder why the hell you just dropped 10+ bucks on a Nicholas Cage movie.
But then, a funny thing happens. You start to notice after a little while that the schlock, the ultra violence, the ridiculousness and all of it are absolutely deliberate, which instantly turns the whole thing around. Yes my friends, Drive Angry is a modern-day grindhouse film, not a throwback, but the real deal replete with homages to the 70’s and 80’s genre that have recently gained some popularity – and it rules. All of the F bombs, gratuitous violence and nudity, terrible dialog and off the rails plotline revel in their ridiculous glory, and as long as you’re willing to go with it you will really enjoy Drive Angry. Director/writer Patrick Lussier goes over the deep end with some really sweet experimental 3D effects (character memories being overlaid over faces in 3D, for instance), ridiculous gonzo action akin to Crank and the Hardest R rating a movie could possibly achieve.
The plot (I use the term loosely) revolves around Milton (Nicholas Cage) who’s tracking down Jonah King (Billy Burke), the leader of a cult who has kidnapped a baby girl that Milton has some sort of connection to. Milton is also simultaneously fleeing from The Accountant (William Fichtner, in an absolutely incredible deadpan performance), an agent of the devil who is tracking down Milton for unknown reasons, but if you’re even a 5th grade student of movies you can probably guess why.
Milton almost immediately teams up with Piper (the DDG Amber Heard) and the carnage ensues. They fight their way through the backroads of southern America, from Florida to Alabama to Louisiana, getting into slomo and fastmo fist fights, gun battles and snarling dialog battles that you’ve seen before in other movies, but with that grindhouse touch that somehow makes them enjoyable. One particular scene features Milton having sex with a waitress at a roadhouse with a cigar lodged in his teeth, when a huge group of cult enforcers bust in and try to kill them. In 3D slomo, Milton proceeds to kill the lot of them while having sex, while drinking, with the cigar still in his mouth. Now depending on who you are, you could consider this kind of scene TOTALLY AWESOME, or TOTALLY HORRIBLE. Personally? This is where the whole movie did an about face into Awesometown for me. Hook, line and sinker. And the movie has at least three or four more scenes of equal Raditude.
At any rate, Milton and Piper keep pursuing the cult on their baby rescuing crusade and avoiding The Accountant – again, the best character and performance in the film – to the big showdown at an abandoned prisonyard where shit hits the fan, some schlocky dialog gets delivered, and some CRAZY ASS 3D STUFF HAPPENS, essentially 100% of which is either on fire or coming out of a gun. The ending sort of loosely sets up a potential sequel, and quite frankly if they manage to get William Fichtner back for a repeat I’d go see it. He really is quite fantastic as an agent of the devil (if you’ve read this far, you’ll be happy to know that his weapon of choice? A QUARTER.).
So that’s that. If you liked Crank or Machete and want your action/violence/nudity even crazier and in 3D, I’d suggest you go see Drive Angry. ’nuff said.
