While perusing ye olde Consuming Interests the other day, I came across a post regarding a poll that Travel and Leisure Magazine put out there comparing “America’s Favorite Cities,” a rundown of tourist destination cities broken down by category – Best time of year to go, cuisine, etc – and ranked according to reader votes. The list is, in a way, both flattering and absolutely moronic. To be put on the same list as Honolulu or Las Vegas, hey Baltimore is lookin’ pretty good right?!? Yeah no. Comparing Baltimore to Honolulu or Miami in terms of general tourism wants and needs is about as lopsided and unrealistic as comparing Baltimore to Narnia (great place to get laid I hear). And it gets even more moronic when you compare cities head to head; as stated in the title, Baltimore loses just slightly in a comparison with Philadelphia, and f**king Anchorage, Alaska.
Philly, I will grant you, outweighs Baltimore in terms of tourism in a number of ways. But Anchorage? Let’s just look at a few elements of this poll that you may disagree with based on pure logic:
Best times to visit
Winter/Christmas: Baltimore 34, Anchorage 32 – So, you’re telling me that more people would rather spend their Christmas in a city with a subarctic climate – granted, just barely more people – with an average temperature of 11 degrees than Baltimore?
Spring Break: Baltimore 30, Anchorage 27 – Again, both at the bottom of the pile but WHO THE HELL WOULD RATHER SPEND SPRING BREAK IN ANCHORAGE?
Local Specialties
Pizza: Baltimore 22, Anchorage 21 – Incomprehensible.
Nightlife
Singles/Bar Scene: Baltimore 32, Anchorage 33 – HOW. HOW CAN BALTIMORE BE JUST *ONE* SLOT BETTER THAN A CITY IN THE MIDDLE OF TUNDRA. EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!
Quality of Life and Visitor Experience
People-watching: Baltimore 34, Anchorage 32 – PEOPLE WATCHING!?! THERE AREN’T ANY PEOPLE IN ANCHORAGE!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAH
People
Intelligent: Baltimore 29, Anchorage 25 – ………well hey, Sarah Palin worked there so there’s that – wait, what?
Can’t take this any more, not going to keep typing, the blood pressure is already too high and I don’t feel like exploding a head vein on this computer screen. But please, feel free to take the city comparison challenge and post the dumbest discrepancies!! (Hint hint: Providence)
What about the governors with daughters who make amazingly stupid decisions category? That’s a real toss up but I think they’ve got us after dancing with the stars.
As one of the few people who has lived in both Anchorage and Baltimore I feel qualified to say that Anchorage does not even begin to compare with Charm City. I was never happier than the day I left Alaska. The pizza is really better there, though.
THANK YOU! Now very curious to try this Anchorage Pizza.
better than BOP?
After nearly getting into fisticuffs over the merits of New Haven style I’ve learned to not argue with individual tastes in pizza–it’s just how you were raised. And no offense to BOP, which I love, so I’ll just say that Anchorage’s Moose’s Tooth Pub and its sister the Bear’s Tooth Theater serve some of my favorite pizza anywhere.