You don’t have time to read hoity-toity reviews by people with degrees in journalism or English, or use proper grammar or hardly make any sense at all, do you? Of course not! Which is why you should read these ADD reviews by Angry Mike, who has a penchant for watching movies (because he lives in the county and has no life). Enjoy!
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The Losers: I really liked this flick, it’s an action comedy and they come off very A-Team-esque. Chris Evans is the main funny guy, but everyone else has some good lines, and everybody is does well in general. In my favorite exchange, Stringer Bell and The Comedian are in a banana Pinto chatting:
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Basically, an elite team of special forces guys get betrayed by a CIA guy, they have to fake their own deaths and are demonized back home in the U.S. Zoe Saldana (hot as hell) finds them and offers them a chance for revenge/redemption. There’s lots of double crosses and cool stuff. The only issue I had was with Max the bad guy, a lot of his lines are funny but Jason Patric plays it with no underlying menace. I think Timothy Olyphant would have been an awesome guy to play that role. He did a lot of that “I’m making fun of you b/c I’m smart, but I’m also a nasty bastard,” in Die Harderest 7: the quest to prove Bruce Willis is still relevant. All in all, I might even buy this movie.
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The Crazies: Speaking of Timothy Olyphant, this movie was pretty damn good. I’ve never seen the original, but this is along the lines of the Dawn of the Dead remake, but not quite that good. Basically people in this small town slowly start going apeshit, and not in a good way. Seth Bullock is a sheriff (shocking right? I think 75% of his roles are as a grizzled lawman) and he tries to make heads or tails of what’s going on. Basically, the local government and ultimately the Army get in the way as much as they can to try and save their own hides. it also becomes hard to tell who is sick-crazy and who is just losing it due to the situation. There are some good scares, and some really creepy scenes. To try and make a comparison, it’s kind of like Outbreak if instead of making you dead, the disease made you murderously insane, there is no adorable monkey, and the only cure is bullets. |
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Cop Out: For the most part, you’ve seen all the funny parts in the trailers. Tracy Morgan is doing his (getting tiresome) eccentric/crazy guy schtick, and Bruce Willis is trying to keep up. There are some funny moments, like when Morgan thinks his wife is cheating on him, and Stifler (a petty thief) is mocking him about it in the back of the squad car.
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It’s kind of hard to do this scene justice, coz they are all kind of talking over each other. But still, it was only mildly amusing, and when your movie clocks in at almost 2 hours, you need to bring more funny than that. I think the script was counting on Tracy Morgan being way more funny, and way less annoying. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case. It’s not bad per se, it’s just not very good. This may have been Kevin Smith’s death rattle for directing anything with an actual budget, but you can’t really blame him, he doesn’t exactly get much to work with.
this guy is so brilliant