NachoQuest – Harborque

Carolina Nachos - $5.75

At the suggestion of some guy with a blog, I moseyed on over to Harborque (1421 Lawrence St., Riverside) the other day to try their Carolina Nachos – nachos piled with cheddar cheese, beans, jalapenos, BBQ sauce, and A MILLION POUNDS OF PULLED PORK. For $5.75.

And let me tell you something, these “nachos” transcend the human language in terms of description and can be really only be described using a low frequency sound normally uttered by whales.

There is so much pulled pork on this pile that it becomes more like a “crunchy meat pie with cheese” as opposed to “a pile of nachos.” My first bite was pretty easy – I scooped up some cheese, penos and pork and chewed on it, noted the deliciousness and went right for the second bite. But after about five mouthfuls, the sheer density of the nachos began to affect my reality. These things are like dark matter. After six or seven bites, clocks with alarms going off started spinning around my head, my roommates started looking like dragons with bees coming out of their mouths, and the sky turned a darker shade of fuchsia. I’m not entirely certain how much of these pulled pork nachos I actually ate, as I woke up later naked in a ditch on the side of Harford Road somewhere. That was a really awkward cab ride getting home…

Aaaat any rate, these nachos kind of defy a rating. They’re certainly not the best, but probably the one of the most unconventional nachos in the city, given the BBQ sauce and baked beans instead of the traditional nacho toppings. Plus, for the money and sheer volume of pulled pork you will inevitably develop meat sweats eating, they’re certainly one of the best values for both pulled pork AND nachos going. So for now, I will award the Carolina Nachos from Harborque the Golden Donkey – an award that defies logic and convention, until I can figure out a more appropriate award for them. Kudos.

One Gold Donkey out of One

(view the NachoQuest map so far here)

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