The Bacon Vodka Chronicles – pt. 3 OMEGA

After allowing the bacon vodka to sit for 4 days, half of which was spent refrigerated, it becomes time to filter all of the horrible fat globules and as much of the debris out of the mix as possible. For this, we start with some easily obtained cheesecloth (or in my case, “tear cloth” obtained from work):

The dirty mess is poured through the filter, not once but twice, using separate pieces of cloth.

The key here seems to be filtering the mess while it’s as cold as possible, so the fat blobs stay solid enough to not slip right through the filter. Unfortunately on my first run the globs were still pretty liquidy, so a lot got through to the bottle.

After this first round of filtering, the bottled bacon vodka is still very yellow, still pretty cloudy, but has at least 80% less disgusting wretch-filth. BUT IT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! TO WORK WE GO!!!

So I roll up to the lab, and grab a few containers to split the bottle’s contents into (and a funnel).

Next, I split our bottle EVENLY into the four containers, and load them into our Sorvell Instruments RC-B3 Refrigerated Centrifuge, set to spin at 2000 rpm, 4 degrees Celcius for 20 minutes (give or take).

Aaaaaaand after all of that, the solid debris is sent to the bottom of the containers, making it easy to put it back into the bottle, debris free. BUT THERE’S STILL FAT BLOBS IN IT!!!! (actually by this point literally 90% of everything is filtered out) IT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I NEED TO ABUSE SCIENCE SOME MORE AND MAKE THIS CRAP PERFECT!

In our final step, I apply a Nalgene 0.9mm vacuum filtration system to the contents of the bottle.

And surely, literally every single last bit of flotsam and jetsam are removed from the fluid, leaving a crystal clear, pristine, bacon vodka.

A simple taste test reveals: oh yeah bitch. This shit is top shelf. This final, perfected product will be placed in a newly decorated bottle with an eye-catching logo that will some day make me a million dollars:

Now, unfortunately for the general public, access to Sorvell RC-B3 refrigerated centrifuges and or Nalgene 0.9mm vacuum filtration systems may be limited. In the absence of these things, just use a hell of a lot of cheesecloth to filter the bacon vodka and MAKE SURE the stuff is cold when it’s being filtered. It’s more than likely that the final product will never be as crystal clear as the stuff shown in these pictures, but quite frankly I only went through with these final steps because of the aesthetics involved, and because I could. It had no effect on the flavor, so any interested parties probably shouldn’t care if they were to try and create their own bacon vodka.

This is only the beginning…