To Whom It May Concern,
It has been some time, well over two fortnights, since our last correspondence. It is my hope that in this time your life has been eventful, full of personal and financial growth. However, it is with some regret that I inform you that your mother is, in fact, still fat.
Very fat indeed, so much so that when she sits around the house, she quite literally sits all the way around the house, encompassing it with her massive girth and bulk. The foundation of said house has experienced rather heightened levels of trauma due to the fact that your mother is sitting on its once sturdy struts.
Furthermore, she is so fat that upon once accidentally poking her with a pointed object, notably a fork, a thickened gravy substance did ooze forth, very much like the same gravy I have been known to drizzle on a plate of mashed potatoes or delicious Thanksgiving turkey with boysenberry garnish. This outcome did disturb me deeply.
It is my greatest hope that you, my dear friend, might remedy this situation by placing your mother on a diet and exercise regimen. One that will, in time, reduce her weight to a more manageable limit. I have it on good authority that in fact you are so thin, skinny if you will, that you are able to perform pushups beneath a door.
Good day to you, good morrow.
Sincerely,
C. Evan S. I, BA MS Esq.
FUK U FUKCING ASSFUCK!!!11 IF YTOU TLAK ABOUT MY MOTUHR AGAN ON TEH INTARNET AHL FUKING KIL YER FUCLKING FUKKFACE U FUCKMOUTH!!!!!1@
Your mother is so fat, i do not find her very attractive sexually.
your mother is so stupid, she probably does not perform well on standardized testing.
well done. “yur mom”, but in a classy, concerned kinda way.
when insulting people’s promiscuous mothers, there’s no reason not to be civilized.