How to run for a city council seat in *any* district in Baltimore!

Hey! Ever wonder how you, your average schlub, could run for a position on Baltimore’s illustrious City Council without all of the fuss and muss of having to actually live in the district you’d be representing? It’s easy!

  1. Rent a house/shell/carport in your district of choice
  2. Occasionally hang out there for a bit, rearranging things in an effort to make it look “lived in”
  3. Have some mail sent there, possibly a Kohl’s catalog or coupons
  4. Run for City Council!

It’s as easy as falling into a manhole!

This is, after all, what 5th district official Rikki Spector has been doing for the past 10+ years as a councilperson, a little tidbit I noticed from a Sun article yesterday in which the city’s Ethics Committee had to ask her to stop making requests to drop mold citations on behalf of Harborview, where she lives with her boyfriend, in the 10th district

And this fact is widely known, has been for years, and even still no one ran against her in 2007 for her 5th district seat.

Spector, who is currently the longest serving councilperson since being elected in 1977, refused to answer the seemingly important question of just how much time she spends in her own district (“Why would you ask such a stupid question?“) back in November, but you guys, it doesn’t matter because she works really hard for her constituents!

And so why should it matter where she, you, or anyone else serving on the city’s governing body live? Right? Coz once you’re in, you can just move in with your boyfriend who lives in an awesome condo and not have to worry about the district you’re supposed to represent or any of its problems! Yeehaw! And the best part is, no one will do anything about it, ever, because despite the fact that it might be widely reported most people in Baltimore don’t know or care or vote!

And so it is, I navigate my mouse to Craigslist and start shopping for that dream home *that I will totally live in* in the 9th district. Look out, Pistol Pete! I’m coming for your seat!

(photo via City Paper)

12 thoughts on “How to run for a city council seat in *any* district in Baltimore!

  1. There are plenty of homes in the 9th district you can pick from! Of course, many of thrm are blighted vacants, but hey — if it’s good enough for Agnes and Pistol Pete…

  2. “‘I will never be involved in any kind of business with Harborview again,’ she said.” (from the Baltimore Sun article)

    Except for, you know, living there and stuff.

    This city is ridiculous. Evan for Mayor!

  3. Hey, let’s keep this on the down-low. I’ve rented a dog house in the 4th district and am looking forward to easily unseating Councilman Henry. I’ve already got a list of restaurants and watering holes that are willing to accept my Baltimore City expense account debit plan. I hear things are pretty bad over in the 4th but, let’s face facts, out of sight out of mind.

  4. I grew up in the 5th District and still live there and never knew who she was until now. Time for a change. I might consider running next go round.

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