As everyone seems to be well aware the end of the world, a k a “Judgement” “Day” is upon us – slated to end this Saturday, May 21st (exact time not specified). And what better way to go out – or be left behind, alternatively – than with the perfect Rapture Plans? What songs are on your Rapture Playlist (which everyone most definitely has already, in a box or behind a plate of glass in case of emergency)? Are there any bars in the area running “Rapture Specials?” I know some (over 100,000) folks plan on attending the Post Rapture Looting event, but I’ve already got a pretty sweet computer so I’ll skip that.
Me personally, I’m gonna head out to the nearest highway and just start wrecking cars. Like, drive a few off of an overpass, take some blunt instruments and blast out some windshields, you know, really get my eternally damned ass’s blood flowing. Then, I’m gonna head on over to Ravens Stadium and kick a few field goals, pretend to score touchdowns and do one of those “AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!” montages along with the dozen or so other people that are doing the exact same thing at that moment. Then I’ll probably drive down to DC and steal the Constitution and roll a joint with it, or maybe the original American Flag which will at that point be converted to a bathrobe, and just start running around the Capitol Building naked. By then it’ll be lunchtime, so I’ll head over to the National Zoo, and eat the nearest Panda, which will then be converted to a war bonnet. Donning my Panda War Bonnet, I’ll then wage war against the nearest river and begin lobbing large chunks of whatever happens to be lying around into its narrowest point. Yeah take that Dad River!!! Then I’ll probably head back up to Baltimore, see what’s up, probably hit up Canton and check out Looney’s for some Happy Hour, hit up Walt’s Inn and get some of those awesome Jello shots and totally Rickroll the bar lol. Then some brosephs’ll probably try to step on my game and get up in my facé, but they’ll be totally intimidated by the war bonnet and I’ll be all “Step Off George.”
That’s my Rapture Day Plan.
Rapture Day Playlist, so far:
- Guttermouth – Perfect World via @BruceChalupa
- The Doors – The End via @Conway45
- Onyx/Biohazard – Judgement Night
- REM – It’s The End of The World (duh)
- Johnny Cash – The Man Comes Around
- Boyz II Men – The End of The Road
- Gary Jules (Tears for Fears, if you prefer) – Mad World
- Ministry – Psalm 69 – alt: Grace
- Blondie – Rapture (heh) – via @Jacksoneem
- KRS One – Step Into a World via Poz
- Clutch – Binge and Purge via Poz
- Rebecca Black – Friday via Poz, ouch
- Louis Armstrong – What a Wonderful World via Gina
- Drowning Pool – Bodies via Mikki40dd
- Muse – Time is Running Out via Bean
- Bone Thugs n’ Harmony – Crossroads via Mike
- Sex Pistols – Anarchy in the UK via Baltimoregal
- keep em coming!
KRS-One – Step into a world (Rapture’s Delight).
Cluch – Binge and Purge
Rebecca Black – Friday (b/c we’re all going to hell or already in it).
PS – I’ll be serving “Rapture Bombs” and AUCD “Rapture” specials at No Idea Tavern during the day, should you get thirsty during your looting. And if I haven’t been called to ascend to the Heavens by then…
Excellent! Thanks Mama Paz!
All you can drink Saturday day, 10am til 1pm. Hell has no fury like drinking a double grenade!!!
https://www.facebook.com/noideatavern#!/event.php?eid=130302610380601
Hopefully Murph can find the pitchers in time for the double grenades. I read this book once that if you beat the eternal spirit in a double grenade drink off, you get three wishes. Two of them have to be bringing unicorns back and universal cell phone plans, but that third one, thats all yours baby!
Love it!!!!
we’re offering a pet sitting service. sadly, no one’s taken us up on it.
That’s because they all bought pet insurance. Apparently, the company has recently increased their rates. http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/
bah, bastards.
My plan is, sadly, so very mundane. I’m watching my sister graduate from college. Nothing like hearing people talk about how you are going to do wonderful things with the rest of your life while the world is ending.
Also, Any version of What a Wonderful World needs to be on a Rapture Day Playlist. Not necessarily because of irony, but because it is going to be awesome.
Rapture Day Special!!!! $15 all you can drink this Saturday night at No Idea from 8-midnight. I need some cash, just in case!!!
PlayList: Let The Bodies Hit The Floor – Drowning Pool
sex pistols- anarchy in the uk (for inspiration)
how is Crossroads not on that playlist? Bone Thugz are probably going to be Left Behind with the rest of us, so they could use some loot.
Muse – Time is Running Out
I thought that this was a bar blog, not a music blog. just kidding everybody, just jokes!!!