Spammy Hormel: Chicken Nugget Champion

DATELINE: BALTIMORE, MD – BAD DECISIONS BAR IN FELLS POINT.

Rumblings from the interwebs abound regarding two solidly gentlemen who challenged one another to a chicken nugget eating contest featuring nuggets from Chick-Fil-A. The faceoff was to take place at the renowned interwebs bar Bad Decisions, 50 nuggets and 90 minutes to finish them. From the depths of Twitter he arose; @spamspam. With a bellowing tweet he scoffed at their challenge and exclaimed:

http://twitter.com/SpamSpam/status/20334446320

And so a third challenger was created. The scene was set by 7pm, all the players were in attendance, and a 200 nugget platter adorned the bar. 50 nuggets were placed in three baskets, and the clock began.

The air was thick with tension, meat sweats, and beer. The contenders casually ate their nuggets, seemingly without effort – at least, for the first few minutes.

…And a few minutes was all he needed. Spamuel the Great demolished his basket of nuggets within 8 minutes, swallowing the greasy chunks with a delicate grace and leisurely pace. 8 minutes. He was awarded the coveted Cow Crown, shocking his would-be opponents to their core. The remaining contenders continued their quest to finish the rest of their nuggets, with strain and effort, but alas over 45 minutes later the two resigned and left a dozen and seven (respectively) nuggets behind. Kudos to them for their effort, but the champion is born. Where does he go from here? Why, to Chick-Fil-A, of course.

Why? A new Chick-Fil-A location is opening in Hunt Valley next Thursday, and Spam is dead set on being one of the first 100 customers for the location. Why? Because the first 100 customers at any new Chick-Fil-A location receive FREE CHICK-FIL-A FOR A YEAR. He plans on camping out in front of the location next Wednesday starting at 5am, and plans to live tweet / blog about the endeavor (which we will also report on) as it occurs.  Why? Well, I have no idea but it’s crazy as hell and I love it. NUGGETS