Behold, SpaceManAndy’s debut column, “I don’t know, I guess that could work. Maybe?” With any luck this will appear weekly on a day yet to be decided. EMAIL ANDY with your queries, he’s dying to help you!!
Dear Space Man,
Thank goodness you are available to answer questions, I didn’t know where to turn until you came along. My neighbor is a retired nun who has nothing better to do than report her neighbors to the city for things like not mowing their lawns often enough and not having trash can lids. What can I do to keep her from being so nitpicky and making the city fine me?
Best,
Nitpicked Neighbor
Dear Nitpicked,
That reminds me of a neighbor I had when I was in college. Her name was Virginia, Captain of the Neighborhood Watch. That’s always how she introduced herself, I just assume that Captain of the Neighborhood Watch was her weird old person last name. She used to yell at us when our trash cans were out front, but facing in the wrong direction. She once took it upon herself to check our locks while we were out of town, then called the cops when our back door was unlocked, even though it had the chain. The cops were displeased at this waste of time.
| She also had a husband with some spinal condition, he reminded me of that nursery rhyme “There was a crooked man…” Yeah, old people are fun. Good times. What were we talking about? Oh yeah, you wanted advice. Um, well, we used to prank call Virginia pretending to be Mavis Darlington, her childhood friend, and ask her why she doesn’t remember all the good times we had. Then we formed a band (a Rock Band band, not a real band) called Do Mavis. Oh man, that was fun. We felt kinda bad for that when she made us brownies before exam week. I guess that still doesn’t help does it? I guess you could make her brownies, special brownies, then she might not be so grumpy. |  |
I don’t know, I guess that could work. Maybe?
-SpaceManAndy
I think that maybe, possibly, this could work.
Andy, you’re just full of good advice.
Also she should try stealing her neighbors phone. CAN’T REPORT ANYTHING IF YOU DON’T HAVE A PHONE, LADY!
I have a neighbor that is pretty crazy. When it snowed a ton this year, she left notes on everyone’s car about parking in spots that we didn’t shovel out. What made this crazy is that she didn’t shovel out the spots either. The notes were pretty mean though. We just ignored her cause, well….she’s crazy. She probably thought she was being a good neighbor but really – not.
Maybe the nun thinks she is being a good neighbor?
Her friend’s name was Mavis!? Talk about old…