Well that settles it, Bill’s Lighthouse Inn had its transfer of license approved the other day and new owner Marla Streb (the Strebinator, as I call her) will be occupying the space for South Baltimore’s second attempt at a Bicycle themed restaurant – hehehehe get it?
At any rate, seems like the establishment will now be named Cafe Velocity and will feature some sort of cycling theme, as the owner is a professional mountain biker and probably a triathlete and/or Parkour expert or something. Whether or not the joint will be bicycle themed “in name only” much like The Bicycle, the failed defunct wine bar / restaurant where Centro Tapas now resides, remains to be seen. Beyond that, the neighborhood where Bill’s sits is a bit rough around the edges, to the point where prior ownership often times had to bolt the doors shut to keep drunkards out. Yeesh. Beer Baron Steve Fogleman noted “She’s a tough woman. I mean really tough,” so it’ll be interesting to see how this whole thing flies – er, pedals.
And being that I am personally an expert on all things restaurant, here are my suggestions for the upcoming Cafe Velocity that will enhance the experience, the cycling ambiance, the essence of biking:
- When customers enter the restaurant, rather than having some sort of little bell or beeper to alert the staff there are customers, the door should set off a bike ringer, alternatively the full length version of Queen’s “Bicycle Race.”
- Everything on the menu must absolutely somehow work bicycles into the title. Perhaps a fried onion strips app called “Onion Spokes?” Or a burger called “the Lance Armstrong,” made with beef from a cow that survived cancer and later dumped its wife for a pop star?
- Replace all of the barstools with bike seats, really thin bike seats.
- Actually, replace all chairs and stools in the establishment with really thin bike seats.
- NEVER, EVER refer to Cafe Velocity as a “biker restaurant” or you may get some undesirable clientele.
- Servers should, on occasion, deliver plates of food to tables on unicycles. Or maybe tiny trick bikes.
- Absolutely, positively jury rig one or two bike helmets to function as Foam Domes for happy hour. You’ll thank me later!
Am I missing anything? Who’s got some other suggestions?
Wishing the new ownership the best of luck. This is a great space and a great location. Parking can be an issue though. Perhaps there will be peddler parking space made available?
The food should also come in layettes (those bags bicyclists get their food in).
Along the lines of everything being cycling themed they should have specialty drinks named after the drugs cyclists get tested for.
Their ridiculously messy nachos could be named after Floyd Landis.
The waiters and waitresses could wear biking shorts and jerseys. No. Wait. that’s probably a really bad idea.
OK I’m gonna shut up now.
Holy crap!
Fixed-gear fries
The Tuber (a portabello mushroom sandwich)
All the waiters (male and female) should have handlebar mustaches that are shaped like actual handlebars.
Here is a novel idea…how about a neigborhood bar where people dont have to drive from Towson or some other yuppie trap. Parking will always be an issue when you try to TAKE OVER someones block so you can “get your drink on” Been in the 1800 block my entire life (33 yrs) and really cant take it with the RUB offering FREE PARKING when they dont own a parking lot. Next time you are in there read the menu, it says FREE PARKING !! And try a BAR theme, maybe thats why all these bars last less than a year or two around here before they turn it over to the next douche ! I love my neighborhood, but yall need to relax with this stuff…I hear there are gret SPACES and LOCATIONS in Montana.
this is probably one of more salient points about why parking sucks in that area.
I just love that you scooped Sessa II on his music….er nightlife blog.
You can’t go wrong with Big Wheels.
So does this mean that Bill’s is no longer open? I’m confused (and stupid)
No, Bill’s Lighthouse Inn is still open and still under the same management Marla Streb hasn’t even settled yet, or set a settlement date the only approval was from liquor board to transfer the license but that doesn’t go thur unless the business goes to settlement
Well there you have it then!
technically i’m Samuel Frederick Sessa III, which means Erik is Sessa IV.
i will dearly miss bill’s lighthouse inn, it is a landmark for my family for 20+ years, and nothing can compare to that
Only when Bill and Jackie were running it.. NOT running it into the ground like the “Tuff owner” that the mentioned in the article. The only thing she RAN was it into the ground…
Ouch… harsh. The Bicycle was successful for many years, and was a well regarded restaurant in its time.
I’d have described it as “defunct” rather than “failed.”
“successful in its time, then closed, then reopened, the closed again for good” didn’t have the same ring to it, but i see your point
So what is going on with Bill’s? It is still open and doesn’t look like anything has changed…