Meteorologists predict: Baltimore average temperature down this summer

DATELINE: JULY 13TH, BALTIMORE MD – At the North American Meteorological Buddies Leadership Association (NAMBLA) meeting this past Wednesday, held annually at the Baltimore Convention Center, keynote speaker Norm Lewis delivered the “heart-warming” news: Baltimore’s average temperature this summer will actually be lower than previous summers, down from 12,000,000,000 degrees Fahrenheit to a pleasant and […]

Dispatches from the unusually large snow storm – pt. 1

Throughout the last ……4397534 days of snow, the Baltimore area continues to collectively shit its pants and devolve into an infant state, a lot of which I would like to complain about in a timely fashion. But before I do, I continue to die laughing every single time I see Mr. Accuweather, over and over. […]

BALTIMORE SNOW HASHTAG EMERGENCY!!!

ATTENTION CITIZENS – THESE ARE THE OFFICIALLY SANCTIONED BALTIMORE SNOW EMERGENCY HASHTAGS FOR USE WITH THE INTERNET COMMUNICATION ENTITY KNOWN AS “TWITTER.” KEEP ABREAST OF BREAKING SNOW NEWS USING THESE VERY HELPFUL SNOW HASHTAGS: #snowpocalypse #snowtastrophe #snowmaggedon #snowtrocity #snowacaust #snowkkake #snowthehumanity! (@bmoreNat) #snowdiots (@ryan97ou) #snowpussies (@Chippewa29) #snOMG (@SpamSpam) #snowgasm MORE AS THE SITUATION DEVELOPS!!!!!!