Your source for Baltimore snark and other stuff, since 2008
Dear Owner of the House Two Doors to Down From Mine, You don’t know me. We’ve never met. Not because I’m not around. I know most of the people on our block extremely well. We’ve never met because you never come around. The other residents of our block say terrible things about you. They say […]
Say hello to Tam. He’s a self described craZy aZian who writes long, humorous rants here and there on the Internet. We’ve brought him on board to CTB so that you may read his craZiness on a semi regular basis. Enjoy his introductory love letter entitled “A common man with uncommon thoughts. Also, screw you […]
Sunday, 3:32pm: Martin’s Grocery Store, LaVale, MD The American grocery store. Home of club card Tilapia, year-long supplies of strawberries, and of course, the salad bar complete with hard boiled eggs and blue cheese crumbles. After picking up our family-size trays of steamed shrimp, finish-in-three-bite sandwiches, and shipped-from-Chile mixed fruit arrangement, Jaime Sawyers and I […]
MISSED CONNECTIONS You know that unsettling guy from the bar you were avoiding on Friday night, or how about that girl that won’t leave you alone at the gym? Here is where you’ll find them, in their tragic, creepy entirety. Posted: 2013-05-21, 2:20AM EDT Can pit beef bring us together? – m4w (Arbutus arts fest) […]
Thursday, 6:24pm: The Guilford Bridge, Again After the discovery of the first medical waste pile, a good friend explained that catheters are often stolen from hospitals and clinics in order to collect clean pee for drug testing. What!? I didn’t fully buy this explanation until I was walking Shambles on the bridge last Thursday, and […]
Hello CTB Family, Your friendly, neighborhood, self-appointed Bishop here. The following is a real series of phone conversations I had with a Baltimore teen who participated in a youth program I led. Here is the cast of characters: Bishop – That’s me. David – The seventeen-year-old living in Pig Town who was part of the youth […]