I had lunch at My Thai

I fucking love Thai food. At one point on our podca– sorry, “Internet Radio Show,” I explained to guest and esteemed member of the CTB Fanzone Xtreme Lowell Melser that if I had to pick one cuisine for the rest of my life, it would probably be Thai. Give me that Larb Gai, gimme that Pad Thai, gimme that Prik Sod. ALL OF IT.

Baltimore establishments like Thai Arroy in Federal Hill, the cleverly named Thai Restaurant in Waverly, these establishments never disappoint. So when I found myself outside of My Thai (323 S Central Ave) after shopping for new glasses I thought Hey, it’s the 80s and wanted to check out yet another Thai establishment that I assumed would be more of the same delightful goodness. Oh boy.

First thing I notice upon entry is the space is massive, far larger than any other Thai joint I’ve ever been in. Huge bar. Rear dining room. High ceilings. Pretty swanky! That, and 60% or more of the tables hadn’t been bussed (I still consider that such a strange term for “clearing a table”) whether there were people at it or not. There was only one stressed out waitress running the whole place, taking people’s orders, handling the slew of takeout orders from the remainder of the lunch rush, I felt bad for her. “Please pardon my mess!” No worries, but it was a little weird that they only had one person running around like a headless chicken during lunch *on a Friday* when a rush was expected.

Either way I sat at the bar and peeped the menu, same as virtually every other menu with Thai food on it out there. And since the menu was special-less I shied away from spending $17 on drunken noodles with chicken (why is that shit always so expensive) and went with an order of shrimp spring rolls ($4 each, woof) and a Tom Yum soup ($7, extra spicy please). Ironically, for someone who didn’t want to spend $20 dollars on lunch, after tip the total came to $19. So let’s see this food.

Don’t think I can handle all this garnish

First up, an $8 order of spring rolls with shrimp in them:

Dazzling. Can you handle this amount of dazzle? THAT GARNISH.

Regardless I pick one of these weighty deep fried rolls of plant-and-some-seafood and a small pool of oil is left behind, oh dear. Bite. Crunch, check, bamboo shoot, check, noodles detected by tongue, check. Oh look there’s one shrimp in here! But what is this substance rapidly shooting into my mouth and beard and plate and place setting? Dribbling everywhere and probably lubricating my car’s engine outside? Them there’s oil, and a lot of it. The oil had pooled inside and was awaiting and unsuspecting mouth to explode into, and it was mine. Oil, generally bland spring roll and that brightly colored dippin’ sauce, $8 and I’m still pretty hungry. Bring on the Tom Yum!

Or don’t

Well, at least this was as spicy as I had requested and the flavors were correct; sour, tart tomato-y broth with some shrooms, a bit of chicken and other vegetable products bobbing around. Aside from the WORLD CLASS plating this particular Tom Yum was inoffensive. I wish I could say more but I just wasn’t enamored with this Thai like I would with uh, every other Thai I’ve ever had.

Unbussed tables aside the service was fine but this food was pretty blargh. I left My Thai with a single tear running down my cheek, as it was my very first subpar Thai experience. Also, the space is a bit strange – every single other Thai joint I’ve ever been to is a hole in the wall and this place is quite flashy, with a product that is pretty mediocre. It’s like the Guy Fieri of Thai restaurants (EPIC BURN SIIIIIIIICK NAILED YOUR ASS AND YOUR BALLS, GUY!!! j/k he’s a great guy, in name and also in gender)! I’ll be sticking to my favorites for now.

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