Pee-Wee says so.

Also, always ask a loved one before you put it in your mouth!

The year was 1997. Favorite city haunts of ours included Reptilian Books, Stikky Fingers and several other places that no longer exist; long before Harbor East was on the map and the hyper-gentrification of Federal Hill made the 8×10 seem almost out of place. In these days, the days when Lith Hall saw forty or fifty crust punks for every hipster, there was Atomic TV. I first caught wind of Atomic TV while sneaking into a Jim Rose show at the aforementioned Lithuanian Hall, noticing hosts Scott Huffines and Tom Warner (also of Atomic Books fame) manning video cameras, capturing the kickass twisted performance.

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Every year for the past 30 some odd years, the fine folks of Dundalk gather and organize their annual celebration of culture and heritage, the Dundalk Heritage Fair. A tribute to America, America, ….and America, this fair truly encompasses the pride and admiration the hard working family folk of Dundalk have for their country. The freedom, the flag, and bedazzled tank tops. The fair features two stages for live music with notable hard-hitting acts like Bowzer from Sha-Na-Na, a full range of foods available – from pit beef to pit ham to pit turkey and french fries, a beer garden, and a rides/games section for kids and kids at heart. And for you racing enthusiasts, a pig race starring the great Phineus T. Waggs! Also featured prominently, a merchandise portion the likes of which has not been seen since the spice markets of India. Wooden carvings with painted epithets such as “Classy Lassy,” humorous shirts with slogans like “My shitty attitude is none of your fucking business!” and designer Kate Spayed handbags, all available for purchase and placed in ornate display arrangements.

Kaw-Liga

I tagged along to the fair this year with a few friends, sampled the cuisine and had a few beers with some of the locals. Our local drinking buddies were talkative and approachable, engaging us in lively conversation with topics ranging from the existence of aliens, where are my sunglasses, who are you, what’s this bottle in my purse, and internet dating with its many pitfalls. Our new friends were very knowledgeable on these topics, as well as many others! The night went on and they wandered off eventually, dazzled by patriotism and the 47 Bud Lights they had been drinking, so it was time to move on. A magical experience to say the least. Thanks, Dundalk!

So although this year’s fair has come and gone, next year’s fair is only 363ish days away. In the meantime, enjoy these photographic memories and a very special video featuring our seasoned karaoke veteran and his rendition of Steppenwolf’s “Magic Carpet Ride.”

Been seeing this Axe dry commercial on the telly lately, and while I normally wince at the blatant and clumsy grab at the 18-34 that Axe tends to go for, these commercials apparently are from Europe a few years ago so that automatically makes them not as stupid (#swpl). Enjoy!

I’ve been waiting for someone out there on the Interwebs to provide all of us who had the …pleasure of seeing the LOST finale this past Sunday with a comprehensive list of unanswered questions that the series provided. I’ve heard enough of the fan service explanations which extend from “Hey it’s mysterious! They can’t explain everything!” to …that’s pretty much it, or equally hair-brained explanations involving actual plot elements from He-Man or something, and I find them to be lacking.

I’m slightly more pragmatic than that, and tend to believe that the writers had absolutely no idea what they were doing with the show at a certain point, threw out a bunch of  the loopholes with the bathwater and boiled down the plot of the show to “a character study” after realizing that the enormously convoluted plot they had created via horribly sloppy writing was too much for the general public to deal with in the final season’s tenure, and it was much easier to convert the show from “serial drama with sci-fi elements” to “everyone hugs.”

At any rate, here’s that list I mentioned (pay extra special attention around 2:10!), as wonderfully crafted by the fine folks at College Humor: