Well kiss my grits and break out the fine plastic china. As reported by the Sun’s B’More Green blog, Tim Wheeler tells us this morning that Jim Kraft, long time advocate of the proposed ban on plastic bags in grocery stores has somewhat reversed his opinion and opted for a program of mutual cooperation between businesses and city community groups in an effort to educate the public (wha????) concerning the virtues of reusable grocery bags and litter reduction.

HIGH FIVE, JIM KRAFT. Meanwhile, unfortunately, councilman Bill Henry is still opining for a fee on the plastic menace, while Mary Pat Clarke would like to see an “automatic trigger” put into effect in which a ban or fee would be implemented if certain reduction goals are not met. …and we all know how often that type of strategy works, especially when it comes to public education – right Mary Pat?

So hurray for common sense today, let’s all do our rain dance for some more in the future!

(literally everything else to be said on this issue lives here)

In our last episode, we covered the ins and outs of the SBNA meeting last Tuesday during which a committee member broached the idea of requiring permits in order to have a pub crawl in the city of Baltimore. And I’m sure, oh I am sure that there are some of us out there who think this is a fantastic idea; a way to ensure that the organizers are responsible, well to do groups of people who would nor will ever be the harbingers of stabtrocities in our fair city.
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In case you were not paying attention to the Baltimore area internet in the past few days, it was initially reported on Monday by Sun reporter Justin Fenton that during a pub crawl along Fort Avenue on Saturday (an overlapping pub crawl not associated with the one I plugged a few days prior), an altercation broke out which eventually resulted in one man being stabbed in the back by another, the details of which unfolded during the day in the form of edits on the original post. The nature of the report and the individuals involved – for whatever reason – sparked what essentially amounts to a race war in the comments section within a few hours; truly some of the most vitriolic commentary I’ve seen in relation to Baltimore neighborhoods and their opinions of one another in a very long time (this line of commentary continues on Sam Sessa’s Midnight Sun blog here). I recommend reading these as a case study on how truly screwed up we are as a community, especially given the fact that someone’s life was nearly lost in the incident.

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Judge Sweeney is the man. He finally had the chance to voice his opinion today regarding Sheila Dixon and her trainwreck of a trial at her sentencing, sending her on her way to her remaining days of shame and relative obscurity (…and an $83k pension). His statement is a deliberate, nut kicking wakeup call to the entrenched politico of Baltimore and it expresses the opinion that literally everyone I know personally has had for ….ever.  I get the sensation that throughout the trial his blood pressure was probably triple that of a charging rhino, steam slowly oozing from his ears as he was forced to remain mute while the dog/pony/wizard show went on and on, his face ever reddening until today when he was finally allowed to pull the release valve and verbally punch her in the throat repeatedly with a lead boxing glove. Cold comfort, true, given the lightweight sentencing Ms. Dixon was given, but read his statement and it might make you feel just a little better. This particular gem rings especially loudly to me:

I hope that the new and welcomed dedication to higher ethical standards is genuine and will have a shelf life that last beyond the next election. If not, then the city will be doomed to repeat the cycle of petty and tawdry corruption and special entitlement that ends badly not only for the people directly involved but more importantly for the citizens of Baltimore that depend on fair and honest governance by its officials.

Amen brotha.

The Sun’s Andy Green also had some choice words on the matter that are definitely worth a read, so go read them.

This is truly and without question one of those days that the namesake of this website couldn’t be more appropriate.

The Sun reports this morning that the giant, controversial (what?), pink flamingo adorning Cafe Hon in Hampden has been removed as a result of the owner refusing to pay a fee of $800 for the ‘privilege’ of intruding upon public space. Other examples include outdoor seating, chalkboard advertisements (what an invasion of my space!) and statues, apparently. Really, none of the legalities or arguments as to whether or not this big dumb bird belongs on the restaurant’s fire escape interest me terribly. But let me tell you what does: reading the comments left on the article. MAN. High level entertainment. From the mess, here’s what I’ve kind of learned about this whole thing:

• Hampdenites tend to think very, very little of Cafe Hon, Honfest and the owner of Cafe Hon in general.
• Everyone else thinks the flamingo is an icon.
• The owner is “controversial” to the point that I overheard a reporter asking about her at another Hampden restaurant, which will undoubtedly result in an article about her specifically and therefore give her (and her restaurant) more publicity.
• Regardless of the situation’s outcome, Cafe Hon is going to benefit due to said publicity.
• Teenagers are still being shot and dying elsewhere in the city.

Again, I couldn’t care less about the flamingo or what people think about it, so I’d like to use this situation as an opportunity to make one simple point about living in and operating a business in Baltimore City: Sooner or later they will find a new way to try to get your money, one way or another. Always and forever.

And I’m not seemingly suggesting that a business shouldn’t pay for intruding on the use of common space – if it’s an actual intrusion or god forbid a legitimate safety hazard. Outdoor seating or some sort of ornamental fountain, these things get in the way of me trying to walk the full width of a particular sidewalk and a business should pay for such things, especially if they stand to profit due to their presence. But a statue of Elvis, chalkboard with specials on it, or a giant flamingo hovering ten feet above the ground at its lowest point? Not getting in the way, and not hurting anyone.

But the city hungers. It is entitled. It finds a way to walk right up to a business or home and knock on the door and say “Excuse me, but you owe us $800 for this.”

And where, exactly, did that figure come from? $800? Would it have been less if the flamingo were smaller, or if it were instead a flat tapestry hanging off of the fire escape instead of a sculpture protruding 1.5 feet outward? Would anyone have cared if it were a big American flag? In my mind the answer to the figure’s origin is pretty simple; it’s arbitrary. And I guarantee that if paid, the fee would go up in time and a new excuse would be made for why it has become necessary to pay $1000 to put a chalkboard on a sidewalk.

When infrequent author wgatsum asked the question “What’s the point of the Department of General Services?” last November, we all kind of shrugged and wrote it off as another waste of time and energy by the city government to perpetuate its own existence. Now it would seem that one of its main functions is pretty clear; to write parking tickets for buildings.