The City That Breeds » Entries tagged with "humor"
Facing legal pressure, Phusion Products releases Five Loko
Knee jerk hysteria is striking nationwide resulting in statewide banning of “Alcopops,” amidst the seemingly endless wave of college freshman who succumb to their potent alcohol content and fruity deliciousness. At the center of all of the attention is Phusion Products, creators of the acclaimed Elixir For Not Being Drunk called Four Loko. Aside from a public statement decrying unfair treatment of their products by legislature and a public commitment to responsible drinking, Fusion Products … Read entire article »
Filed under: Boozetime!, Politics
Mobbie Fodder: 5 posts that qualify a win
The Mobbies have begun and among the 519 nominations, picking one that deserves to win can be difficult. And so, in addition to begging for votes via Twitter and Facebook or something (which I’ll probably do more of) I present to thee a few posts over the past year, a smattering of quality, a portfolio of Ha, a selection of Reverse Quality that may or may not tip your voting favor our way. Enjoy! Dixon Pleads Not Guilty, summons wizard as defense attorney Sheila Dixon may have been found guilty and resigned as Mayor of Baltimore, but she mustered quite a defense team. Sky MaLOL Order now! The Male/Female Posts 5 Potential replacements for the male/female statue 5 Alternate uses for the male/female statue UnPeterAngelos: The Interview Orioles owner UnPeterAngelos emerges from his floating tower … Read entire article »
Filed under: Reviews
Office of the State’s Attorney to offer 2 for 1 conviction Groupon, bail discounts
Facing sagging conviction rates and an uptick in high-profile, media saturated murders in the past few months, the Baltimore Office of the State’s Attorney has made a move that some are praising, others finding highly controversial; the office will be utilizing the social internet coupon service Groupon to offer 2 for 1 convictions in criminal cases, and 50% off bail coupons up to $10000. State’s Attorney Pat Jessamy, who spearheaded the initiative, spoke very confidently about the offer in front of a crowd of twelve people eating gyros at a food cart in front of the Clarence M. Mitchell, Jr. Courthouse this afternoon. “Our office is dedicated to preserving not just the community’s sense of safety, but more importantly, a great bargain!” she said. The crowd continued eating their gyros. When asked … Read entire article »
Filed under: Consumerism, Politics
SpaceManAndy’s Advice for Cocktail Nerd in Oakland
Dear SpaceManAndy, I am a pedant who believes that only a drink consisting of gin and vermouth (and possibly bitters) should ever be called a Martini. I also believe that such a drink should always be stirred, never shaken. In this world dominated by Grey Goose and James Bond, will I ever find true love? Or at least a blowjob? Signed, Cocktail Nerd in Oakland … Read entire article »
Filed under: Advice, Boozetime!
5 Foursquare Badges for Baltimore
For a while now, Foursquare has enjoyed something of a meteoric rise in popularity among the gadget headed, internet craving individuals of this nation. And while the frigging movie Valentine’s Day has its own Foursquare badge and page, the entire city of Baltimore ain’t got no badges of its own (although, the Baltimore Sun has a page). Which is why I decided to sit down, fire up some 3rd grade Photoshop skillz and make a … Read entire article »
Filed under: Baltimore
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