The City That Breeds » Entries tagged with "humor"

Meteorologists predict: Baltimore average temperature down this summer

Meteorologists predict: Baltimore average temperature down this summer

DATELINE: JULY 13TH, BALTIMORE MD – At the North American Meteorological Buddies Leadership Association (NAMBLA) meeting this past Wednesday, held annually at the Baltimore Convention Center, keynote speaker Norm Lewis delivered the “heart-warming” news: Baltimore’s average temperature this summer will actually be lower than previous summers, down from 12,000,000,000 degrees Fahrenheit to a pleasant and chilly 10,000,000,000. The news couldn’t come at a better time, with Baltimore City public pools open and in full swing, … Read entire article »

Filed under: Baltimore

Top 10 List Of Things That Real Baltimoreans Hate About That List Of Things That Real Baltimoreans Love

Top 10  List Of Things That Real Baltimoreans Hate About That List Of Things That Real Baltimoreans Love

Faced with a seemingly unending set of ‘lists’ vomited from the Internet informing the world what ‘real’ Baltimoreans are like, we’ve decided to put together a list our own. Hear the full conversation on the latest TBD Show at or around the 17:00 mark. @BryanLevy contributed 99% of the material here. Direct all complaints his way. #1: 3/4 of the people that say they are from ‘Baltimore’ are from Baltimore County. More than likely if … Read entire article »

Filed under: Baltimore

CRAZY WHITE PEOPLE, AND 4 THINGS THEY LOVE!

CRAZY WHITE PEOPLE, AND 4 THINGS THEY LOVE!

  White people are a curious bunch.  They offer car financing, eat tuna fish sandwiches, drink Miller Lite, send their kids to summer camp, sit on the Bench in the NBA, purchase product protection plans on electronics, and whenever they gather in large numbers, they play Beer Pong and Cornhole. White people are just plain crazy, as evident in the crazy things they do such as recycle, make reservations, pay for their kids to go to college, … Read entire article »

Filed under: Advice, Entertainment, WTF

The Best of Craigslist

The Best of Craigslist

It’s Back. foot blogger in need of feet – m4w – 47 (phila pa area) Married white male Who has a foot fetish. I have a foot blog and am seeking all types of womens feet.barefeet,soles, toes with and without shoes. Looking for discreet pic’s of your feet or if you wish non discreet. Any age or race womens feet welcome. Thanks ————————————————————————— And if by “married” you mean “very, very alone forever” and by “blog” you mean … Read entire article »

Filed under: Entertainment

The True Allure of Facebook, and 5 Not-So-Obvious Things we ALL do on Facebook That We Deny Or Downplay

The True Allure of Facebook, and 5 Not-So-Obvious Things we ALL do on Facebook That We Deny Or Downplay

Unless you are an Iron Chef, Life’s savory question is not whose cuisine reigns supreme, but rather why do we have an appetite for a taste of a life that is not our own? Instead of “socially networking”, Facebook’s slogan should be to “socially spy”. We are ALL stalkers to a certain degree on Facebook, whether we confess to it or not. Which got me thinking; what else do we do on this site … Read entire article »

Filed under: Entertainment

Scenes from the Hagerstown Cracker Barrel, part I

Scenes from the Hagerstown Cracker Barrel, part I

By Sam Sessa Ever been to Cracker Barrel? Of course you have. You’re an American, and Cracker Barrel is where America has breakfast. And lunch. And sometimes dinner. On the same day. The parking lot is never empty at Cracker Barrel. Even in a blizzard, someone is always sitting in those rustic wooden rocking chairs out front, biding time. Cracker Barrel is worth the wait. Hagerstown has a Cracker Barrel, not far from the Hagerstown Premium Outlets, which means … Read entire article »

Filed under: Schadenfreude

Wham Bam Thank You Tam

Wham Bam Thank You Tam

Say hello to Tam. He’s a self described craZy aZian who writes long, humorous rants here and there on the Internet. We’ve brought him on board to CTB so that you may read his craZiness on a semi regular basis. Enjoy his introductory love letter entitled “A common man with uncommon thoughts. Also, screw you Ryan Gosling.” Well Hi There! That mouse clicking of yours landed you right here, and now your life is forever altered … Read entire article »

Filed under: Entertainment

SEEKING NAKED MAN CLERGY LOVE

Dear CTB Family, It’s your friendly, neighborhood, self-appointed Bishop here.  Today I come before you with a confused heart.   I am befuddled, flabbergasted, completely and utterly dumbfounded. “Why? Why Bishop are you so confused?” Well, I’m glad you asked.  Recently I saw the following advertisement on Craigslist: Category: CL > Baltimore > All Personals > strictly platonic Nudist Clergy – m4m (Annapolis Junction, MD) As a clergyman who likes hanging around home naked, I thought it would be fun to get together with other clergy–or gay men who like being with clergy– to meet regularly in the nude. It’s so freeing and loose-diferent from our usual lives. Maybe we could have theological discussions, just simple chatting, grab a drink or two, meet a man that we are drawn to for a special friendship that might start … Read entire article »

Filed under: Schadenfreude

The Best of Craigslist: May 2013

The Best of Craigslist: May 2013

MISSED CONNECTIONS You know that unsettling guy from the bar you were avoiding on Friday night, or how about that girl that won’t leave you alone at the gym? Here is where you’ll find them, in their tragic, creepy entirety. Posted: 2013-05-21, 2:20AM EDT Can pit beef bring us together? – m4w (Arbutus arts fest) Message: “You were working at the Lions Club pit beef stand. I was working the event also. I thought you were really pretty. I … Read entire article »

Filed under: Entertainment

Put That Wherever

Put That Wherever

Thursday, 6:24pm: The Guilford Bridge, Again After the discovery of the first medical waste pile, a good friend explained that catheters are often stolen from hospitals and clinics in order to collect clean pee for drug testing. What!? I didn’t fully buy this explanation until I was walking Shambles on the bridge last Thursday, and there it was, on the opposite side of the bridge from the original pile, another couple of catheters and a pile … Read entire article »

Filed under: Entertainment