Gross $ The City That Breeds

The City That Breeds » Entries tagged with "gross"

A swimmable, fishable harbor: Or, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

April 23rd, 2010 | 6 Comments

Yesterday was Earth Day, and like most of you I found myself reading 123456789 articles about the Earth itself, mostly about how it’s actively trying to kill us all currently in the form of volcanoes, historically significant earthquakes and the impending emergence of the Mole People who want to eradicate humanity (probably). One string of articles I read illustrated how the Waterfront Partnership is unveiling its “Healthy Harbor Initiative,” a 10 year effort to clean Baltimore’s … Read entire article »

Filed under: Baltimore

Green Beer! Ugh, green beer.

March 16th, 2010 | 4 Comments

Don’t get me wrong folks. Theoretically green beer on St. Patrick’s Day is a fun way to be festive without wearing 265754 pieces of stupid flair, wigs, leotards, “DRINK ME I’M IRISH LOL” shirts, whatever. And once you’ve had your penny Guinness, your dollar Jameson, your two penny XTREME Guinness Bawls Guarana Car Bomb XTREME you’re more than ready and willing to swill down anything green, whether it’s beer or bong water. But GOD DAMN, I drank a few of these green abominations this past Saturday- essentially Miller Lite with water and food coloring – and I do declare I’ll never stray from the brown beers again. …until tomorrow. When I do it again. Dammit. Happy Actual St. Patrick’s Day everyone. … Read entire article »

Filed under: Boozetime!

Burger King is be gettin’ ribs

June 9th, 2009 | 1 Comment

It came to my attention last Friday via Pork Magazine (wait what?) that Burger King will begin testing the addition of pork short ribs to their menu in several key markets. Dubbed “Fire-Grilled Ribs,” and a long term plan to offer the ribs in up to 3,500 of its locations in the U.S., it remains clear that Burger King wants us to all die a little sooner. The more fascinating aspect of these upcoming horrors of fast food is the fact that they will be bone-in; whereas the slightly less horrifying (but no less disgusting) McRib contains 100% less bones, the vision of a Burger King littered with rib bones left behind by ignorant customers is kind of – make that really – disgusting. And I guess functionally the bone litter … Read entire article »

Filed under: Food and Drink

Shouldn’t We All Smell Like Hamburgers? Requiem

January 7th, 2009 | 2 Comments

The short answer to this question is no, no we should not smell like hamburgers. After the holidays, I found in my mailbox the Burger King Flame “body spray” that I ordered some time ago and thought “heh.” It comes in a tiny bottle much like the bottle in the picture, in fact it’s almost actual size in the picture depending on your monitor, and with due diligence I sprayed as bit on my wrist. Let’s just say it doesn’t exactly smell like hamburgers, or really much of anything at all except for the cheapest, crappiest cologne imaginable. Every. Single. Person. That has smelled this stuff has likened it to Sex Panther at some point in their reaction to it, without exception. To make matters really much worse, the bottle leaks slightly … Read entire article »

Filed under: Consumerism, WTF

BARF…I mean, let me try that

September 24th, 2008 | 4 Comments

Whilst engaged in an online discussion regarding gross soft drinks, the usual suspects of seasonal Mountain Dew flavors versus Mr. Pibb XTREME were thrown around, until someone dropped a big, fat, curious bombshell: Yes friends, if your eyes are working properly you are seeing the same thing that I did; the unholy union of Budweiser Brand beers and Clamato. CHELADA. After stifling a dry heave, I decided to look into this seemingly nightmarish drink idea and sure enough, dated January 14th 2008, the fine folks at Anheuser-Busch put out a press release announcing their triumphant foray into the world of…. latin-themed drinks. Apparently, “Chelada” is like a Mexican’s drinkable BFF. The press release is a true gem of industry-speak in motion, observe: The name Chelada is a shortened form of the Spanish word … Read entire article »

Filed under: Boozetime!, WTF