Saint Patrick’s Day weekend is upon us. Quake with fear. Do some stuff while you’re at it.

	4TH ANNUAL MUSTACHE & MINISKIRT PARTY When: Friday, March 12th 9pm Where: Joe Squared (133 West North Avenue, Charles North) More What: (Facebook) Grow out your mustache and dust off that miniskirt for the 4th annual mustache & miniskirt party, this friday! Featuring live music by Claire Hux and a drunken spelling bee! Free!
	SOME SORT OF GETTING DRUNK EVENT When: All weekend 24/7 Where: Baltimore, MD More What: Seriously try walking out of your front door this weekend without tripping over a bar crawl, bar special, kegger, beer bash, stein hoist, green party, blippity bloppity blorp. Oh and the St. Patrick’s Day parade on Sunday, March 14th at the Inner Harbor, 2pm.

CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE EATING CONTEST When: Sunday, March 14th 5pm-6pm Where: Burke’s Restaurant (36 Light Street, Downtown) More What: (Facebook) Eat your way through plate after plate of Saval Deli Corned Beef and Cabbage to win! 1st Place- $300 plus 4 passes to The Comedy Factory 2nd Place- $150 plus 2 passes to The Comedy Factory 3rd Place- $50 plus 2 passes to The Comedy Factory

Finding yourself bored this week/end with very little or nothing to do and too lazy to file your taxes? Here are some events you might want to check out!

	COMICS WITHOUT FILTERS When: Thursday, February 25th 830pm-1015pm Where: Windup Space (12 W North Avenue, Charles North) More What: (Facebook) The likes of Jim Meyer, Justin Schlegel, Erin Jackson, Jason Weems, Erik Myers, and Doug Powell team up to put on a show for Doctors Without Borders! $12! Laugh your balls (or lack thereof) off for a good cause!
	HUMILIATED III: UNLUCKY IN LOVE When: Friday, February 26th 8pm Where: Metro Gallery (1700 N Charles St., Charles North) More What: (Facebook) Tales of woe and humiliation on stage, from those of us with those tales to tell. $7 at the door. Come point and laugh!

2ND ANNUAL SNUGGIE BAR CRAWL When: Saturday, February 27th 2pm-2am Where: Captain Larry’s (601 East Fort Avenue, Riverside) More What: (Facebook) Last year’s snuggie pub crawl was xtreme epic awesomeness to the maxxx. This year promises to be bigger and better, with more bigger better ridiculous snuggies and cultish fun. Be there or be totally lame!

Finding yourself bored this week/end with very little or nothing to do and entirely too many babies to not take care of? Here are some events you might want to check out!

YACS KICKOFF HAPPY HOUR When: Thursday, January 28th 7pm-10pm Where: Mothers Federal Hill Grille (1113 South Charles St., Federal Hill) More What: (Facebook) The Young Adult Cancer Support group kicks off an evening of music, light fare and a free Bud Light for the 1st 250 people through the door. If you’re a cancer survivor or have been affected by cancer in some way shape or form, come feel the support of people like yourself.

MOUSTACHE SUPER FUN DANCE PARTY When: Friday, January 29th 8pm Where: Ottobar (2549 N Howard St., Charles Village) More What: Moustaches, DJs, some more moustaches. Get it on.

BEER BOWL VII When: Saturday, January 30th 12pm-6pm Where: Little Havana (1325 Key Highway, Riverside) More What: (Facebook) 20 Beers! Blind head-to-head tasting bracket! Only ONE will win!! Help Baltimore pick the best beer! You can register here.

BE THERE!! AND BY THAT I MEAN SOMEWHERE!

Finding yourself bored this week with very little or nothing to do and entirely too much laundry to put off cleaning? Here are some events you might want to check out!

	BACON AND BEER HAPPY HOUR VII: ITALIAN EDITION When: Thursday, January 21st 2pm-2am Where: Bad Decisions (1928 Fleet St., Fells Point) More What: Facebook or this post will pretty much give you the gist.
	ROCK PAPER SCISSORS TOURNAMENT When: Friday, January 22nd 8pm Where: Sidebar Tavern (218 East Lexington Street, Downtown) More What: You ready to show your skills Baltimore? Can you beat a field of 32 Rock Paper Scissors contestants to win a cash prize? Pony up 5 bucks and enter in Baltimore’s only Rock Paper Scissors competition!

IT’S TIME FOR THE SPARKULATOR!! When: Saturday, January 23rd 2pm-???? Where: Frank and Nic’s West End Grille (511 West Pratt Street, Downtown) What: (Facebook) A bar crawl dedicated to riding a free bus in sparkly clothing? Yeah sure no problem! Get your sparkle, bus rides and booze on during this crazy ass event!

BE THERE!! AND BY THAT I MEAN SOMEWHERE!

Snowpocalypse 2009 is occurring this weekend according to the National Weather Scientist People (Incorporated) and it’s time to take stock of what to do in Baltimore in the event of a giant snowtastrophe. This list is 1000% necessary to your survival!! We’re through the looking glass here, people.

SNOWPOCALYPSE IS NIGH

• Drive 3 mph at the first sign of a single flake on the pavement.
• FREAK OUT AND BUY TOILET PAPER BREAD EGGS AND MILK IMMEDIATELY AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
• Go to Federal Hill park at 2pm on Saturday, December 19th and take part in a huge snowball fight.
• Head to The Dizz and warm your feet by their enormous fireplace.
• Go sledding on the west end of Federal Hill Park, the Board of Education in Towson, CCBC in Catonsville, or Leakin Park.
• Laugh at the school kids who won’t be getting a day off since the snow hits on Saturday.
• Bring a thermos of hot chocolate to any of your favorite bars or restaurants and just sit there drinking hot chocolate.
• Make snow angels on Rash Field (or any other field, for that matter)
• Go cross country skiing at Fort McHenry – if it’s open!
• Sit at home and complain about how you can’t get holiday shopping done because there’s too much awesome snow outside.
• drink. HEAVILY (@ryan97ou)
• Put cheap furniture in your parking spot such as (but not limited to) lawn chairs, stools, anything to save that spot you dug out. (Tracy)
• Find your local bar then drunkenly help push out the bad city snow drivers (that didn’t realize you can’t drive though 2 feet of snow in a ford focus) on the walk home. (Tracy)
• Watch local newscasters throwing their mics into people’s faces and ask them how miserable they are in the snow. Then wait for the next piece: a heartwarming tale about sledding and snowman building. (@threestonesteps)

PLEAS ADD YOUR VITAL SURVIVAL TIPS TO THIS LIST PLEASE OK THANK YOU