Dixon $ The City That Breeds

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Dear Sheila Dixon: please run in 2015

September 29th, 2011 | 2 Comments

Sheila, I’m sure you’re well aware that your mayoral successor-by-default, Stephanie Rawlings Blake, recently won Baltimore’s illustrious and completely amazing primary election, essentially guaranteeing her mayorship after the general election. Just as you were finally voted into office having served as mayor-by-default after Martin O’Malley saved us all from BGE rate hikes when taking office as governor so many years ago, so too will Stephanie Rawlings Blake, though her chances of getting kicked out of … Read entire article »

Filed under: Politics

Own a piece of Baltimore’s corrupt history!

March 9th, 2010 | Add a Comment

In what simply must be the greatest news ever to hit my cerebral cortex in no less than twelve lifetimes, disgraced former mayor Sheila Dixon’s Xbox 360 – purchased using absconded gift cards for the poor – is now available for bid on eBay, according to The Baltimore Sun (“Dixon’s Xbox up for sale on eBay” 2010/03/08). This Xbox was submitted as evidence at the trial of former Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon. This item has been surrendered to the Maryland State Prosecutors Office pursuant to the plea agreement. All proceeds from this sale will go to Youthworks of Baltimore. This item was originally taken from the residence of the former mayor in June 2008. Robert A. Rohrbaugh, you rule. With providence, this monument to governmental corruption and family entertainment will sit proudly … Read entire article »

Filed under: Consumerism

5 Alternative uses for the male/female statue

February 24th, 2010 | 5 Comments

Since 2004, Baltimore has been forced to acknowledge the fact that it for some reason commissioned a guy to build received the gift of a 51-foot tall metal statue with a glowing heart in front of Penn Station from a private organization, enjoying a level of eyesore that causes even the blindest infant to wince. The metal menace known as male/female continues to offend the eyes/hearts/minds of Baltimore – nay, Earth, and it is time … Read entire article »

Filed under: Entertainment

Sweeney to Dixon: GTFO

February 4th, 2010 | Add a Comment

Judge Sweeney is the man. He finally had the chance to voice his opinion today regarding Sheila Dixon and her trainwreck of a trial at her sentencing, sending her on her way to her remaining days of shame and relative obscurity (…and an $83k pension). His statement is a deliberate, nut kicking wakeup call to the entrenched politico of Baltimore and it expresses the opinion that literally everyone I know personally has had for ….ever. I get the sensation that throughout the trial his blood pressure was probably triple that of a charging rhino, steam slowly oozing from his ears as he was forced to remain mute while the dog/pony/wizard show went on and on, his face ever reddening until today when he was finally allowed to pull the release … Read entire article »

Filed under: Politics

The Dixon trial aftermath – hilarious edition

December 1st, 2009 | Add a Comment

The entire virtual and physical city of Baltimore has been positively riveted and glued to any and all media sources for the past two weeks during Mayor Sheila Dixon’s trial. Despite the fact that her hired wizard managed to stave off several convictions of theft in the first of two trials against her, a single count of embezzlement has stuck and our fair(ly gorgeous) mayor is now a convicted petty criminal. Fortunately, the internet is a goldmine of all things comedy regarding the matter and the Twitterverse has provided 48k paydirt. Here are some of the funniest tweets I’ve seen thus far (more will be added as the day goes by!) regarding the infamous #dixontrial. DEC. 3 CHICKEN LIGHTING @ OTTOBAR NOT AFFILIATED WITH SHEILA DIXON, BUT SHE IS INVITED TO PRESIDE … Read entire article »

Filed under: Politics