In case you were not paying attention to the Baltimore area internet in the past few days, it was initially reported on Monday by Sun reporter Justin Fenton that during a pub crawl along Fort Avenue on Saturday (an overlapping pub crawl not associated with the one I plugged a few days prior), an altercation broke out which eventually resulted in one man being stabbed in the back by another, the details of which unfolded during the day in the form of edits on the original post. The nature of the report and the individuals involved – for whatever reason – sparked what essentially amounts to a race war in the comments section within a few hours; truly some of the most vitriolic commentary I’ve seen in relation to Baltimore neighborhoods and their opinions of one another in a very long time (this line of commentary continues on Sam Sessa’s Midnight Sun blog here). I recommend reading these as a case study on how truly screwed up we are as a community, especially given the fact that someone’s life was nearly lost in the incident.

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Judge Sweeney is the man. He finally had the chance to voice his opinion today regarding Sheila Dixon and her trainwreck of a trial at her sentencing, sending her on her way to her remaining days of shame and relative obscurity (…and an $83k pension). His statement is a deliberate, nut kicking wakeup call to the entrenched politico of Baltimore and it expresses the opinion that literally everyone I know personally has had for ….ever.  I get the sensation that throughout the trial his blood pressure was probably triple that of a charging rhino, steam slowly oozing from his ears as he was forced to remain mute while the dog/pony/wizard show went on and on, his face ever reddening until today when he was finally allowed to pull the release valve and verbally punch her in the throat repeatedly with a lead boxing glove. Cold comfort, true, given the lightweight sentencing Ms. Dixon was given, but read his statement and it might make you feel just a little better. This particular gem rings especially loudly to me:

I hope that the new and welcomed dedication to higher ethical standards is genuine and will have a shelf life that last beyond the next election. If not, then the city will be doomed to repeat the cycle of petty and tawdry corruption and special entitlement that ends badly not only for the people directly involved but more importantly for the citizens of Baltimore that depend on fair and honest governance by its officials.

Amen brotha.

The Sun’s Andy Green also had some choice words on the matter that are definitely worth a read, so go read them.

The entire virtual and physical city of Baltimore has been positively riveted and glued to any and all media sources for the past two weeks during Mayor Sheila Dixon’s trial. Despite the fact that her hired wizard managed to stave off several convictions of theft in the first of two trials against her, a single count of embezzlement has stuck and our fair(ly gorgeous) mayor is now a convicted petty criminal.

Fortunately, the internet is a goldmine of all things comedy regarding the matter and the Twitterverse has provided 48k paydirt. Here are some of the funniest tweets I’ve seen thus far (more will be added as the day goes by!) regarding the infamous #dixontrial.

DEC. 3 CHICKEN LIGHTING @ OTTOBAR NOT AFFILIATED WITH SHEILA DIXON, BUT SHE IS INVITED TO PRESIDE OVER LIGHTING THE CHICKEN.

Don’t blame me. I voted for keiffer Mitchell.

KEEP BALTIMORE STOOPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

she didnt fly to bermuda & try & get her groove back w/ a jamaican lover for a week & not leave someone in charge.

Does Big Boyz Bail Bonds offer gift cards? Perhaps that’s one Mayor Dixon would appreciate…

Baltimore, The City that Reads….. except when the envelope says “For Charity”

Keep expecting to hear “I am not a crook,” from Mayor D(n)ixon.

Carcetti for Mayor.

Embezzlement my ass. As far as I’m concerned, we’re all “children of Baltimore.” Speaking metaphorically.

Love it. And you know, I’d bother saying something pithy about this whole situation but instead I summarize my thoughts and feelings on the whole matter as it was so eloquently put by former city council member Keiffer Mitchell:

I believe the jury’s decision today underscores the public’s desire for broad based reform and transparency in our city government.

Or as I would put it less eloquently, “We gotta pull some weeds before the flowers can bloom.” Don’t be sad, Baltimoreans – even if this conviction ends with a slap on the wrist (and we all know it will), at least the public’s eyes are a litter harder fixed on the ethics-skirting propensity of our elected officials…. for now.

Ultimate praise for the Baltimore area media outlets for covering this whole process from beginning to end in a respectable manner. See yall at the next trial!!

At what had seemed to be a rather routine trial today for defendant Ray Ray Richards, charged with reckless endangerment in a dirtbike incident, Baltimore City Circuit Court judge Judge Sylvester B. Cox has handed down a sentence that defies logic. “Mr. Richards, for your wanton lack of regard for the safety of the public at large, I hereby sentence you to watch every Orioles game for the next three seasons.”

Richards blanched and nearly doubled over. Bailiffs had to support him as he blurted “You…. can’t. They’re… terrible – I MEAN COME ON, DID YOU SEE THAT POP FLY TO FIRST THAT SALAZAR JUST DROPPED FOR NO REASON!! NOOOOOOO!” Richards was then tazed repeatedly and taken into custody.

The decision passed down by Judge Cox will certainly be seen as controversial by many and may even find its way before Amnesty International if the public perception for the sentence worsens, especially when based solely on the performance of the Baltimore Orioles. More to come as the situation develops.