Well kiss my grits and break out the fine plastic china. As reported by the Sun’s B’More Green blog, Tim Wheeler tells us this morning that Jim Kraft, long time advocate of the proposed ban on plastic bags in grocery stores has somewhat reversed his opinion and opted for a program of mutual cooperation between businesses and city community groups in an effort to educate the public (wha????) concerning the virtues of reusable grocery bags and litter reduction.

HIGH FIVE, JIM KRAFT. Meanwhile, unfortunately, councilman Bill Henry is still opining for a fee on the plastic menace, while Mary Pat Clarke would like to see an “automatic trigger” put into effect in which a ban or fee would be implemented if certain reduction goals are not met. …and we all know how often that type of strategy works, especially when it comes to public education – right Mary Pat?

So hurray for common sense today, let’s all do our rain dance for some more in the future!

(literally everything else to be said on this issue lives here)

In case you were not paying attention to the Baltimore area internet in the past few days, it was initially reported on Monday by Sun reporter Justin Fenton that during a pub crawl along Fort Avenue on Saturday (an overlapping pub crawl not associated with the one I plugged a few days prior), an altercation broke out which eventually resulted in one man being stabbed in the back by another, the details of which unfolded during the day in the form of edits on the original post. The nature of the report and the individuals involved – for whatever reason – sparked what essentially amounts to a race war in the comments section within a few hours; truly some of the most vitriolic commentary I’ve seen in relation to Baltimore neighborhoods and their opinions of one another in a very long time (this line of commentary continues on Sam Sessa’s Midnight Sun blog here). I recommend reading these as a case study on how truly screwed up we are as a community, especially given the fact that someone’s life was nearly lost in the incident.

(continue reading…)

Well it would seem the city council’s long standing tradition of trying to tax literally anything and everything under the guise of environmental or safety concerns has come to a head this week, as the now nearly two year old issue (1, 2, 3) of the city’s efforts to ban/tax plastic bag usage at grocery stores has been brought to light again.

Realistically there’s no way in the world the city council will end up banning them, for as we all know, there’s no money in that. The alternate intent is currently to issue a 25 cent surcharge on each and every plastic bag used, the aim being to “reduce litter” across the city. I modestly propose several reasons why this is horribly misguided. Again. For the third time in two years.

Everyone is already pissed

Property taxes in Baltimore are as high as ever, we just ousted a corrupt mayor who will be receiving an $83,000 annual pension regardless of her transgression, and let’s face it the economy is still very well lodged directly in the bottom of the toilet. And you want to make people pay for plastic grocery bags, on top of all of it? Makes perfect sense!

The market is handling it

Dunno if everyone has noticed (they have), but almost every grocery store has started placing bag recycling boxes outside of their locations and have been offering incentives to reuse bags or reusable totes. The businesses are creating an incentive and the people are taking advantage of it. No legislation necessary. Additionally consider this: implement the fee and people who live on the city’s borders (Irvington, West Gate, etc) will simply drive an extra half a mile and shop outside of the city, where the fee is nonexistent – then proceed to drive back into the city, unload their groceries and throw the plastic bags into the street anyway. So you’ve effectively lowered the level of business conducted in the city AND not solved the litter problem. Way to go!

The “gotcha” effect

So let me get this straight: I’m supposed to carry plastic bags or reusable tote bags with me everywhere, all of the time in an effort to avoid being penalized unless I’ve planned on a shopping trip ahead of time? I’m really supposed to always have one on hand, when I need to run into 7-11 and grab some quick food?

The “dogshit” effect

It’s no mystery to anyone that Baltimore has a dogshit problem. In fact I get the sensation that if plastic grocery bags didn’t exist, the city would be blanketed in dogshit. Granted, it’s just as easy to pick up a canine pet’s excrement using a sandwich bag or something slightly smaller, but more than likely a lot of people will simply stop picking up their dog’s shit if they have to pay a quarter every time they do so.

…..actually, the idea of paying a quarter to pick up crap to me is kind of a beautiful cruelty. And for that reason this is my only point I will make in favor of the tax. Mwaaaaahahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, the 25 cent fee proposed is a deliberate move to overshoot the actual amount they probably think they’ll get through. Obviously 25 cents is incredibly high, whereas DC’s 5 cent surcharge would probably be the intended target. The whole point is to get the concept of levying the fee through the door, get the public semi-comfortable with it, and finally get it passed at a lower level than initially proposed. Classic politics, emphasis on ‘ass.’ My advice to you, dear reader, is to not fall for it – because they’re just going to try it again with something else later.

(part 1)

More community gardens absolutely everywhere

Remember those 30,000 vacant properties I mentioned earlier? Yeah they aren’t really helping the economy in Baltimore. But you know what would, while simultaneously raising morale/property values/a sense of community in the immediate area? Raze a few of them and convert the plots into community gardens. Obviously this strategy doesn’t apply to areas that are completely abandoned, but for those areas that are struggling to rebuild and/or feature a few certain properties that cannot be salvaged and have been remained idle for years, just do it. Flatten the property, put in some dirt and grass and charge people a tiny fee to grow whatever they want on 3×3′ plots. The fees would pay for maintenance, while boosting the immediate area’s worth on all fronts. Hell, any stretch of a few blocks featuring a community garden and a charter school? Golden.

“Green” Jobs

I wince at the title and its ridiculous media-buzz nature, but environmentally conscious service, infrastructure, and manufacturing jobs are going to be a huge part of this city’s future. Smilin’ Martin has been jawing about it for a good long while now with regard to the state, and with the industrial infrastructure already featured within city limits it wouldn’t be terribly difficult to retrofit some existing manufacturing installations that aren’t in use with proper “green” measures in an effort to bring back working class employment to the city without further destroying what’s left of the inner/outer harbor. It’s just a matter of attracting the right businesses to the area. God knows, I certainly wouldn’t be adverse to paying 2-3 dollars more for a t-shirt manufactured in Baltimore if it supports the local economy, as opposed to China’s. The ball appears to have started rolling on this one, let’s keep it that way – and with the rather limitless infrastructure fixes that can be made toward getting Baltimore off the BGE coal tit, let’s speed it up actually.

BRING FIOS TO THE CITY OF BALTIMORE, MD

This one is a completely selfish pet issue but I am certainly not alone when I say: I am sick to death of the monopoly that Comcast Cable Corporation has with regard to the media choices that our residents have in the city of Baltimore. There are literally no other options for terrestrial cable services within city limits and the company knows it. Consumers deserve a choice, and there currently are very few to none aside from the overcharging, customer-supportless behemoth entity known affectionately as Comcrap. I don’t care what needs to be done, I don’t care who needs to be called or how many HJ’s need to be serviced, please for the love of Mike do something to entice Verizon Wireless to bring their illustrious FIOS service to our fair city. Please. Anything.

…it’ll totally boost the economy or something.

SRB and company, please take these humble suggestions and know that every one of them has been thought about by at least a thousand other people. Get to work.

My EX-girlfriend Sheila Dixon (we had a falling out over a time share) will no longer mayor in just over a week. My NEW girlfriend, Stephanie Rawlings Blake (or SRB, as she signs her emails) will be transitioning into office, and the time for a new-but-not-really-but-maybe-it-will be era of Baltimore progress is waiting in the wings. Much like assholes and elbows, everyone has an opinion or two as to what our incoming lady mayor ought to do with regard to her personality, administration, choice of pet dog hairstyles and lip liner color. For instance, MMMMMMMcDermott gives SRB 9 pointers for mayoring, most of which she has probably broken already. Meanwhile, JMG uses his lvl 23 street lingo to put out some ideas on Westside development. There are others out there but I’m too lazy to look.

It wasn’t until Friday last week when former City Council member Keiffer Mitchell announced that he would be a part of SRB’s economic development transition team (2000 xtreme associates esquire) that I fully decided to make my own list of ideas, pertaining particularly to economic and community development. I gave him the 140 character nuggets via Twitter, and here are the full text versions.

Stop developing the fucking waterfront

Not a day goes by that I don’t read some sort of master plan from the BDC, bulletin or article in the BBJ about some new mixed used retail slash luxury condo development being crammed on top of the condos that are on top of the dry dock out by Bay Cafe or HOTELS HOTELS HOTELS, and it needs to stop for a good long while. The waterfront surrounding the Inner Harbor doesn’t. need. any. more. developing. Furthermore the majority of these properties and development deals invariably involved shorting the city on the taxes it’s supposed to be paid, sweetheart deals on the land (Silo Point, Ritz Carlton, probably Westport, an attempt on West Covington) – and we all know how that turned out for our soon-to-be previous mayor.

With so much room for RE-development in a city that has far less of a need for NEW development, the point here is that the incentives – or in Baltimore’s case, ethically thin perks for developing in Baltimore – don’t belong in the areas where new development is occurring, they belong in areas where redevelopment is a top priority. Not that I’m condoning ethically thin practices and the old vanguard just can’t help itself but get its sweet, sweet cut of the profits but STOP RIPPING OFF THE CITIZENS OF BALTIMORE ON LAND DEALS. If the city’s government truly wants to make an effort in the way of rebuilding its tax base, they need to stop focusing on 3% of its land base. Which leads me to the next point…

Bring back the dollar housing program

This topic was broached by the diligent Slumlord Watch blog a while ago, but it’s an idea that I have been clamoring for for years now. The idea is simple: take wide swaths of abandoned row homes that the city is in possession of and hasn’t done a damn thing with, and sell them for a dollar. Or if it makes them feel better, $6,000 – it doesn’t matter. Put a residency requirement on the house (which currently doesn’t exist, resulting in squatting scumbag speculators leaving their blighty goodness all over the place) and give the owners a provisional 5 year discount – say 50% – on the property taxes. With 30,000 vacant properties, I’m pretty sure the city could offload a few of them in their possession to those of us that actually want to live in the city.

Now, I fully realize the city just can’t help itself and wants to do a bit of its own speculation with regard to certain areas and the boarded up shit holes in its possession but again, if the city’s government is truly interested in rebuilding the tax base and opening the window to lower property taxes for everyone, it is a hell of a lot better to get started NOW with those that are legitimately interested in living in the city and improving their surroundings than playing the speculation game (which is soooo 2005 btw).

Charter Schools, Charter Schools, Private Schools

This is an issue that is in a state of revival but it needs to be stated over and over – we need more charter and small private schools in this city if we’re ever going to maintain a meaningful, productive population.

Some years ago a lot of charter schools tried to set up shop in the city and were met with great resistance by the teacher’s unions, administration, the powers that be and so forth. The going conspiracy theories as to why this was the case were varied but involved the usual excuses – lack of funds, it makes the other public schools look bad (even worse), on and on. Fortunately this isn’t necessarily the case these days and charter schools are slowly starting to pop up around the city, with the hopes of small class sizes and unorthodox education methods bringing parents and students to their doors, desperate for an alternative to the rest of the otherwise shattered city public education system. And quite frankly, this is the most immediate need in the city right now. One could literally go on for pages and days on this point but the bottom line is pretty simple: if the city’s government is truly interested in preventing youth violence/death and preserving the middle class that has been fleeing the city for generations in an effort to raise a family in the suburbs we need competitive, small and otherwise productive schools that aren’t tied down by the hopelessly broken bureaucracy that encompasses the rest of the city’s public schools.

coming up in part 2 …gardens, green jobs and uh, some other g word.