The cooler days of Fall are approaching (thank God) and it can mean one of several things for you personally, be it impending yardwork, giving birth to a child, whatever floats your boat. But certainly, one thing it should definitely mean for you personally is your participation in the 2nd Annual Baltimore Beer Week, put together by the fine folk at Beer In Baltimore and many other area vendors, sponsors, coordinators and other hard working types. A celebration of all things beer running from October 7th-17th, with a whopping 24 beer events happening around the Baltimore area, you’d be hard pressed not to trip over a firkin or two during that period of time.

The kickoff party is going down on October 7th at the Museum of Industry (1415 Key Highway, Riverside), and tickets are available now, with only 250 available at $30. Cake artisan and international superstar Duff Goldman will be hosting the party, so get yours today!

BUT WAIT – too cheap to purchase a ticket? Head down to Alexander’s Tavern (710 South Broadway, Fells Point) tomorrow from 5-7pm for the Pre-Beer Week happy hour and enter for a chance to win some!

BEEEEEEEER

You can follow Baltimore Beer Week around at these interweb locations:

Baltimore Beer Week

@BaltBeerWeek

It’s well documented that people enjoy beer. And while the snottiest beer nerd will wince at the thought of drinking some sort of mass produced domestic on the cheap, the rest of us want it cold, quickly, and most importantly: cheap.

Which is why starting now, the Baltimore Area Cheapest Beers Map is live! Borrowing data from City Paper’s Coldest Beers map to start, we’ve listed the first 20 or so bars featuring beers under the $2 range. This map will be continuously updated with new entries as they come (feel free to email us as many as you like, we will add them), and will include any and all area bar’s cheapest available beers, excluding happy hour. A new day is dawning Baltimore, and it will be inexpensive.

And don’t forget to put the map on your phone!

View Baltimore’s Cheapest Beers! in a larger map

Dear SpaceManAndy,

I am a pedant who believes that only a drink consisting of gin and
vermouth (and possibly bitters) should ever be called a Martini. I
also believe that such a drink should always be stirred, never shaken.
In this world dominated by Grey Goose and James Bond, will I ever find
true love? Or at least a blowjob?

Signed,

Cocktail Nerd in Oakland

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Today marks the 1 month lead up to one of the Baltimore area’s greatest brewery tours, the Heavy Seas Pyrates, Pigs and Pints tour! A celebration of all things pirate, bacon and some of the greatest local brew put out by the fine folks of Heavy Seas (aka Clipper City Brewery). Last year’s celebration was absolutely incredible (seriously look at the pictures, it was awesome) and this year’s promises to be more of the same …despite the fact that the tour is not on Talk Like a Pirate Day, and is instead on our current greatest day of national mourning, but whaddayagonnado. Here’s the rundown:
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(props to spamspam for the heads up)

Ah yes, the highly obnoxious and destructive internet sensation known as Bros Icing Bros. A fine prank to pull on your fellow bros, but it lacks the additional benefit of a ridiculous sexual secondary joke. Well, to fill that gap we now have Dudes BJ’ing Dudes, a method of forcing your friends to drink crappy Bartles and James flavors while simultaneously working a gay joke into the mix. Hilarious. Will this iteration of the “forcing your friends to drink gross shit” prank catch on? Who knows! One thing I do know, however, is that the original Bartles and James commercials from the 80s still kick the ass of most of the over-stylized pewp seen in bottled booze ads these days, right Ed? AND THANK YOU. FOR YOUR SUPPORT.