Yeah at first Snuggies were kind of funny to me. The cult-member appeal, the idea of wearing the equivalent of a hospital gown made of LUXURIOUS material granting everyone the ability to answer the phone without the major hassle that a blanket might confer, I could kind of see it. Plus, the commercials are a gas.

But like most as seen on TV products, things have gone overboard. Like the Chia Pet before it, Snuggies have become insane mutations of themselves, coming in zebra pattern, dog varieties, and the dreaded Peekaroo (not an actual Snuggie brand product but far more sinister) – just to name a few.

And you’d think with 47 varieties of Snuggies and various god awful commercials associated with each one, that’d be enough. You’d be wrong. The latest Snuggie commercial features a horrendous theme song, lame ass white guys raising the roof, and families of Snuggie adorned dumbasses “Getting on their Snuggie!”

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!!!! There’s also a really horrible Snuggie Fan Club website where awful, horrible people can upload pictures of themselves and their dogs in Snuggies! Or maybe report on Snuggie bar crawls that they went on! There’s even a completely useless flash game in which you can upload pictures of your friends and have them dance in Snuggies!!! (except it’s completely broken and doesn’t work, I even opened it in Creative Suite and tried to get it to work with no success)

PLEASE STOP IT, SNUGGIES! YOU’RE KILLING US ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

This is literally an idea I had for a Halloween costume today that I for some reason bothered to conceptualize.
The alternative is the raptor head with a Hef smoking jacket.

AND THAT’S THE BOTTOM LINE, COZ Clever Girl.

Anonymous sources are paydirt. This list of work weirdos makes me consider leaving the workforce altogether and digging a deep, deep hole somewhere out in West Virginia and never speaking to anyone ever again:

Let’s see, where to begin?

The guy who wears a captain’s hat like the Skipper from Gilligan’s Island?
The woman with the fanny pack that always looks terrified?
The cleaning guy that drools and told me that the CIA trained him to kill?
The security guards that pull women over to ask them out?
How about whoever it was that smeared human feces in one of the buildings?
Or the guy that got caught jerking off in the coffee pot?

Where to start… we certainly have some characters.

Jesus, where the hell does this person work, Sheppard Pratt?

Work weirdos. We all have them. And let me just tell you, my place of employment is full of weirdos. One such weirdo I have dubbed Toothbrush Guy.

I typically run into Toothbrush Guy when I’m in the bathroom – where he brushes his teeth, several times a day. Like, four or more. This guy brushes his teeth enough times a day that he actually smells like toothpaste. See this picture over here? It’s his toothbrush. He will typically leave it on the sink, complete with toothpaste, and leave the bathroom to let it ….ripen? until he comes back later to brush his teeth (again). I have no idea. All I know is: it’s weird and he’s weird.

Oh, Work Weirdos. When will you learn? (if you have any work weirdos you’d like to report, email me and I will post them – anonymously of course)

Last night God decided to have explosive diarrhea all over Baltimore and the results can really only be adequately described by this animated .gif.

Or, perhaps this video for a more literal viewpoint: