The rampant pissing, the fecal lagoons, the 3rd world population density, the fist fights in the mud, the dried beer and dirt slip n’ slides, the guys passed out on top of their girlfriends who were too weak to push them off, the toilet bridges, the full beer can fights, the entire bus vs. bus fist fights afterward ….truly magical. A single tear wells in my eye every time I think of you, and it is with great fondness I present this small slice – the parts that are safe for the public to view – of the memories you have given us.

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Happy Memorial Day Baltimore, please to be enjoying a classic favorite (now with video!) frequently aired on 98 Rock in the 80s/90s, this beautiful message from Dwayne Stomp, lead guitarist for the megagroup Black Tooth.

Audio

And Video!

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After this interesting-to-me-only exchange witnessed yesterday on Facebook, I found myself remembering this slightly uncomfortable Youtube video filed under “Wait this is a thing?” shot in 1995, where a guy from DC interviews the Baltimore Association of Rat Fisherpersons, or B.A.R.F., as they hold their 3rd annual (and final) rat fishing tournament at Yellow Rose Saloon in Baltimore. The leader Chuck (that’s what I’d guess you’d call him) actually got a fair amount of text in this 2006 City Paper feature article on rats, moreso than that, a 1994 feature article solely devoted to his rat-fishing pursuits which actually received worldwide attention from The New York Times and The Washington Post, among others. You can imagine, none of the press was very good. At any rate the ’06 CP article is fantastic, this video, not quite fantastic but it is sort of funny in that “What the hell were these guys thinking?” kinda way. …enjoy?

(no rats are harmed during the course of the video)

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Ok well, it’s only 99 years old but 100 sounded better. At any rate, while perusing the Big Map Blog last night I came across a massive 8300×5000 pixel hand-drawn map of Baltimore’s Inner Harbor, courtesy of the Maryland Historical Society. If you so desire you can order prints of the map from the site, or download the 13.2MB image right up in this. The really nerdtastic part is loading 2011 Baltimore’s Inner Harbor into Google Earth and comparing/contrasting the various buildings, factories and train stations that no longer exist and the lack of GIANT UGLY GREY HOTELS THAT MAKE NO MONEY AND BLOCK THE VIEW OF THE BROMO SELTZER TOWER FROM CAMDEN YARDS.

Granted, the scaling is a bit off in the hand drawn version, but for someone to be able to estimate a bird’s eye view of Baltimore so accurately in *any* era is pretty astonishing. Enjoy!

Reader Question: Is this the same map on the wall at Pub Dog (20 East Cross St., Federal Hill)? I think it might be. I seem to remember staring at it on the wall over there when I used to frequent Pub Dog, which I don’t anymore.

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The first time I met the man, I was a tiny child accompanying my parents for a Sunday meal at Connolly’s Seafood, a storied fish-and-crab shack that sat on the end of Pier 5 in the Inner Harbor. The Harbor was a vastly different place at that time; The National Aquarium (another Willie Don legacy) and Harborplace were barely minted, while McCormick Spice Co. was still operating its factory in the heart of Downtown and the whole area would reek of spice and molasses, courtesy of Domino Sugar. In essence it was still a very industrial place, and Connolly’s fit the gritty environment just fine.

Then Mayor Schaefer would dine at Connolly’s on a regular basis with his mother, and it was one such Sundee late afternoon that I was staring at the large, cranky parrot the ownership kept behind a thick plate glass window when my father turned me around and said “Hey Evvy, you wanna meet the mayor?”

And there he was, big giant bald forehead and all, he shook my teeny hand and said “Well hello der lil’ boi.” I didn’t even know what a mayor was at the time, but everyone at the joint was being really nice to him so I figured he was someone important.

Twenty three-or-four years later, after Schaefer had failed to get reelected as state comptroller (after having been the Mayor of Baltimore for a gajillion more years and the Governor of the state, for the love), I found myself very randomly out in Canton, where he had retired. I didn’t even know Private Citizen Schaefer still lived in the city, but he loved him some Baltimore City like no other, and stuck with it until he was literally extracted from his home kicking and screaming and sent to the Charlestown Retirement Community. At any rate there I was in Canton, when I spotted the man teetering along in his little hat, my jaw dropped a bit and I continued standing there, waiting for the light to change so I could cross the street.

Willie Don wound up doing the same thing (not so much with the jaw dropping but the waiting for the light to change), so there we were standing on a corner in Canton when he said to me “Nice day out,” to which I replied “Yup, uh, …..man, I miss Connolly’s.”

He laughed a little.

(photos of Willie Don at Connolly’s c/o Baltimore Sun)

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This video brings a serious grin to anyone’s face, displaying a time when folks sang songs about Pigtown, got totally hammered on weekdays and the whole thing could be on broadcast television without anyone batting an eyelash. You’ve gotta love how serious some of these guys are about shuffle bowl, really, the whole thing is just awesome.

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How about a little historical wrapup?

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The MD State Fair runs from August 27th until September 6th

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