The City That Breeds » Semi-Official

Local blogger sells some shirts, makes donation to BARCS

Evan The Mayor — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 17:11:47 +0000

A few days ago, a t-shirt was sold (buy yours here!) – specifically, a BaltiMO’ t-shirt, from our “Sell t-shirts on this website and support BARCS” campaign – to one Samantha M of Seattle Washington and her BARCS adoption, one Molly Ringwald. The caption was so priceless I had to post it here today:

So yea, I’m totally pumped now. Here is a picture of Molly Ringwald throwing up on the side of a canyon in North Dakota, just because:

Priceless. But you know what isn’t priceless and in fact has a dollar value? The fact that she by happenstance bought the 40th t-shirt since the campaign started, and so a $100 to BARCS was made. See?

So here’s to the dogs and cats at BARCS, hopefully this donation will keep them fed and happy for a little while longer. If you’re interested in purchasing one of those attractive shirts mentioned earlier and vicariously supporting the animal shelter in the process, you can find them in the Yardsale section of this here website. Keep buying them and BARCS will keep getting donations! And we know how much BARCS loves donations, as do those dogs and cats.

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The return of “I don’t know, I guess this could work, maybe?”

Evan The Mayor — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 15:44:25 +0000

Roughly a year ago, The City That Breeds was lucky enough to have recruited this guy SpaceManAndy, a NASA employee with a knack for giving advice, to begin writing a weekly advice column in order to deal with the issues of our day in a style unrivaled by 20 Dr. Phils duct taped together. His breadth of knowledge spanned all topics, from what do to in case of a Zombie Apocalypse, to how to go about having blind fury sex with a Republican, all the way to advice on the perfect martini. (you can see all of his posts here)

Sadly, the suits at NASA caught wind of his gift – both on The Twitter and here – and locked him up in a hermetically sealed laboratory to study his powers (or maybe they threatened his job status, I can’t remember really) over the past year and change. As time passed Andy plotted and schemed his escape, and fortunately for the world at large, SpaceManAndy has escaped his captivity (or maybe he got a new job, I can’t remember really) and is returning to his most sacred of duties (hehehehehe doodie), writing a joke advice column for a local blog.

But no advice column is complete without you, the wondering public, those with problems that need solving. And so we implore you, for your own good, to email your problems/questions/pictures of cats to advice@citythatbreeds.com and seek help. Or, if you’re all Twittered up, use the hashtag #AskAndy. On occasion, we’ll give out prizes to especially fun questions and/or problems, so make ‘em good people!

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Things we lost in the fire

Evan The Mayor — Tue, 10 May 2011 17:51:15 +0000

Not that anyone noticed, but The City That Breeds suffered an enormous meltdown on May 4th, 2011 when the hosting company we used to do business with suddenly…. disappeared. After waking up one morning and discovering that the last three years of material simply vanished, I spent the majority of the past week and change frantically digging up database backups, previously downloaded file backups, all while determining how to wrest the domain name from the out-to-lunch host who refused to respond to numerous support tickets, emails, and phone calls. Three or four days later, the server magically returned to service, giving me enough time to generate a full backup and transfer hosts (Tip of the hat to A2hosting.com for all their help), which brings us to today – where things are pretty much back to normal.

That’s the good news. The bad news, unfortunately, is that The City That Feeds is gone. Wiped out. Which at this point is kind of like sacrificing your smaller, weaker stepchild to save your firstborn son; it sucks, but at least the one that had potential made it.

Welp, back to posting! Thanks to all of you who still read this crap after all this time, and thanks to you who just started reading this crap.

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Mind the dust

Evan The Mayor — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 04:19:03 +0000

Switching themes on the ol’ CTB, promise it’ll look real nice soon enough!

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Welcome back to The City That Feeds

Evan The Mayor — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 17:45:27 +0000

Eons ago, and by that I mean last year, I started up a food-related sister site to CTB known as The City That Feeds. For the first few weeks it was footloose and fancy free, posting various recipes and stuff about Baltimore restaurants and the like… but then the reality of driving content for two separate websites when you’ve got a full time job already set in, and interest was lost.

Thing is, the webspace, domain and all that other junk and bought and paid for through 2013, ….soooo yeah I just got some girls from high school* to take over. So welcome new author Sloppy Vegan to the fold, and check out her recipe for Vegan Lo Mein noodles by clicking on this enticing image of Vegan Lo Mein noodles.

(if you’d like to contribute to City That Feeds, there are benefits to doing so! Email me if you’d like to be a part of it)

*from my old high school, not actual high school girls

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…and we’re back

Evan The Mayor — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 15:05:46 +0000

Literally ones of people have been asking me in recent history “WHAT’S WITH THE NO POSTS WHEN ARE YOU GOING OT PSOT NEED POSTS!!!” And I have very little recourse for this; the holidays came, went, got busy at work and a number of side projects that actually make money have come up in the past few weeks, sapping any creative energy being dumped into a fun-but-otherwise profitless way of life dedicated to making fun of Baltimore.

There was a redesign of the blog in the works, didn’t happen. There were a few posts lined up – starting with the hilariously nepotistic appointment of 70 billion term city council member and octogenarian Agnes Welch’s son Pete Welch to inherit her seat, most of which was centered around his equally hilarious use of guns in the past to “bring order” to a crowd. But then, some really unfunny shit happened:

Some cops shot the crap out of a fellow police officer by accident at a club in Baltimore
An insane person shot the crap out of a congresswoman, a judge, a child, an old person, and probably several kittens in Arizona
The city faces a(nother) gigantic budget gap, which will inevitably be fixed just as horribly and painfully as last year (which actually will provide content, so that might be funny)
This happened (via OMG) – ….alright that’s funny as shit. I’m in a better mood already!

At any rate, new year, new focus for the site in general. Last year it was mostly Onion, this year it’ll mostly be something else with Onion on top. I don’t yet know what this means, but more than likely it’ll be fun. And hopefully you’ll like it!

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Baltimore Magazine’s Best Baltimore Commentary Blog – 2010!!

Evan The Mayor — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 04:14:40 +0000

Have you ever heard of some website called The City That Breeds? Apparently it’s some blog about Baltimore. I’ve never read it myself but I saw some thing or another about it in the August issue of Baltimore Magazine. They think it’s like, a good commentary blog and they gave it some kind of award. The guy who runs it makes fun of the Orioles and the city council or something.

At any rate, thanks so much to Baltimore Magazine for the nod, thanks to those of you who continue to read our stuff, and thanks to all the other bloggers out there in Baltimore who continue to shape the future of local media (or something).

The Best of Baltimore issue is on stands now folks, pick it up and see how your favorite things in Baltimore stack up!

(we’re on page 177)

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Submit your cat pictures, win junk

Evan The Mayor — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 16:14:28 +0000

I promised, long ago, that in addition to hard-hitting journalism and reviews of nachos this site commonly known as The City That Breeds would also feature pictures of kittens, kitties, cats, and other various forms of felines. The time is now, Caturday is upon us and I must deliver on this promise. So Baltimore, begin submitting unto us your pictures of cats – preferably your own – and one selection will replace our dear Sheila over there on the sidebar for a little while – and a prize will be delivered unto the winner.

SEND US YOUR CATS

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“I don’t know, I guess this could work, maybe?”

Evan The Mayor — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 16:30:42 +0000

Let’s face it, you have issues. Issues that require the solid, well-trained advice that only someone on the Internet who works for NASA and has no formal advice-delivering experience at all can give you. That is why effective immediately, local personality SpaceManAndywill be fielding your questions and concerns in our new column, “I don’t know, I guess this could work, maybe?”No topic is out of our expert’s reach and all advice is 100% guaranteed to maybe possibly be effective. Should you wear this hat with that jacket? Should you marry this person you don’t know? Should you have Mac n’ Cheese for breakfast? Andy can help! So please, we want to help you. Bring us your problems, your questions and your concerns and email us. You’ll be glad you did!

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE (there always is)!! THE BEST QUESTIONS WILL WIN PRIZES! THAT’S RIGHT! GIFT CERTIFICATES! ASHTRAYS! DVDS! WHATEVER I FIND LYING AROUND, THE BEST QUESTIONS RECEIVED WILL WIN SOMETHING!

So take a minute, mull over your life’s problems and ponderings, and seek knowledge at advice@citythatbreeds.com. May the wisdom change you forever.

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The City That Breeds Turns Two …(ish)

Evan The Mayor — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:22:05 +0000

Well glory be, time has flown straight past us all and ye olde blogue has suddenly turned two years old. Here are some of my favorite posts from the past few years (that you might have missed since no one really read it back in the day); a hodgepodge of stories, comedy and HARD HITTING JOURNALISM.

Misadventures in House Hunting - a personal tale of trying to find a domicile in Upper Fells Point. With sexy results!!
Federal Hill – still decidedly evil – a personal tale of trying to get a drunk guy – and his teeth – to a hospital. With sexy results!!
Scientology Digest – 07/16/2008 – The evil church of Scientology hunts me down… to my mom’s house!
Spontaneous Deadification: The New Threat to Baltimore? – Murder may be at its lowest, but a new threat is taking its place.
The struggle of Little Havana – HARD HITTING JOURNALISM about a popular restaurant’s ongoing woes with the city.
Fells Point Fun Festival canceled in favor of tax hike – oh those zany city council folks.

Mmmmmmm delicious re-purposed content. You love the way it tastes. Thanks for reading folks!

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