What: Turkey Wrap Where: Cafe Azafran (3700 San Martin Dr, Johns Hopkins Homewood) How Much: $8.50 Synopsis: It’s not often that I would use Mealtime! to disparage something I’m eating, but this turkey wrap – despite its decent flavor – was small and exceedingly expensive considering you could just as easily get the same thing one block away at a place like Hopkins Deli. I mean, daaaaayamn it’s expensive. Anybody else out there have an opinion on the matter? How much should a turkey wrap cost?

View the Mealtime! Map

Beef Bulgogi Kimchi Bowl

What: Beef Bulgogi platter, Kimchi Bowl Where: Jong Kak (18 W 20th St, Charles North) How Much: $8.50 each (lunch special) Synopsis: Do you love Korean food? Do you love the most amazing lunch deals ever? Then you should probably check out Jong Kak’s lunch specials on the daily. All of this delicious food you see here is only $8.50 AND it comes with a wide array of traditional Korean sides (Kimchi, fish cakes, veggie bulgogi, etc). The kimchi bowl picture came out BOILING, and contained huge amounts of egg, dough, kimchi and some root vegetables. Oh, and some pork too. Their Korean BBQ is amazing too. SO GO EAT THERE RIGHT NOW!

View the Mealtime! Map

What: Flag Pizza (large, 16″) Where: Joe Squared (133 W North Ave., Charles North) How Much: $23 (yikes!) Synopsis: Posting anything about Joe Squared is kind of an afterthought since practically everyone knows it’s a superior place to get a ‘gourmet’ pizza. And this pizza, split into three different pizzas (standard cheese, four cheese, pesto and mozzarella) is living …er, pizza proof of that.

Each section has a distinct flavor, and the 16″ pie was large enough to split between 3 people. Which for $23 comes out to be around 8 bucks a head, which is pretty reasonable. I did note, however, that the “flag” aspect of the pizza is supposed to be Italy (right?) but the cheddar adorning the middle portion makes it yellow, which apparently is the flag for Mali. Eh, whichever continent you’re into, I guess. Thumbs up for this pizza.

View the Mealtime! Map

And lo, it is with great fatness that I present to you, my faithful nacho enthusiasts, the final official NachoQuest 2009 review. The winner of NachoQuest will be carefully considered and announced around the end of the month.

Ever since NachoQuest began some three-ish months ago, people have been telling me over and over and over and over that I ABSOLUTELY NEED TO TRY THE PULLED PORK NACHOS AT MAX’S TAPHOUSE (737 S BROADWAY, FELL’S POINT) BRO, THEY’RE THE TITS BRAH, OMG OMG OMG. And for a while, I was pretty excited about doing it, too. They come with salsa, cheese, jalapenos, sour cream and onions AND your choice of chili or pulled pork. The kicker, unfortunately was that according to the website they’re $11 and there was no way I was going to eat them alone.

So, after a million weeks of not eating the nachos at Max’s I finally grabbed a few of my friends and we were off.

And then we were kicked in the balls by the reality of most restaurants not keeping their websites up to date: The nachos weren’t $11. They were $12.50!!!! Plus an extra $4 for chicken! Sorry folks, but that’s blindingly expensive for nachos.

….ESPECIALLY when we discovered a large amount of NAKED CHIPS in the pile. Not cool guys, not cool. Our other companions ordered a separate order of nachos with only chicken and the results were similar. Mostly covered and a decent sized pile, but with some very naked and very expensive nachos at the bottom.

At the end of the day, the pulled pork was tangy and tasty as promised and all of the other ingredients were fine and dandy. But these nachos are easily the most expensive ones I’ve had; the quality prevents them from getting a lower score but if you’re in the market for nachos, go somewhere less expensive.

Three out of five golden nachos (realistically 3.5 out of 5 but I’m too lazy to make the graphic)

Things I learned while sampling the nachos at Kooper’s: 1) The addition of chili, in some cases, can actually elevate the quality of an entire plate of nachos. 2) My camera phone is horrifically shitty and I should seriously just bring my regular camera with me everywhere.

At any rate, the nachos at Kooper’s Tavern (1702 Thames St., Fell’s Point) start at $8.95 and come with the usual cheeses, jalapenos, black olives, scallions, salsa and sour cream. Add grilled chicken, $11.95. Though while I was ordering, I was told that I could either top them with chili or chicken, and could opt for a half portion instead of a whole one. Being tricky like I am, I opted for a half portion with chili – which came to roughly the same price as the standard nachos run. I for some reason was an idiot and thought that half portion = half price – definitely not the case.

The nachos were well loaded with the ingredients listed and salsa came on the side, which I appreciate since you can opt to dump it on the pile or dip individual chips (though if done correctly, the salsa should generally be incorporated into everything else). I think alone these nachos would have been just ok – but the chili really made a total difference. It was sweet, barbeque flavored and loaded with sliced peppers and onions, which really added a lot of flavor – “Zazz” if you will – to the whole mix. The kicker: when I was done with every last chip, there was still chili left!

Long and the short of it, the portion was good and the price was fair. If it were a whole portion for the same price I’d be giving these nachos 5 golden chips so fast it would tear your face off and I’m reaaaaaalllly leaning toward it anyway, but on the whole I’ve had more for less elsewhere.

Four golden nachos out of five

(view the NachoQuest map so far here)