The City That Breeds » Advice

CRAZY WHITE PEOPLE, AND 4 THINGS THEY LOVE!

CRAZY WHITE PEOPLE, AND 4 THINGS THEY LOVE!

  White people are a curious bunch.  They offer car financing, eat tuna fish sandwiches, drink Miller Lite, send their kids to summer camp, sit on the Bench in the NBA, purchase product protection plans on electronics, and whenever they gather in large numbers, they play Beer Pong and Cornhole. White people are just plain crazy, as evident in the crazy things they do such as recycle, make reservations, pay for their kids to go to college, … Read entire article »

Filed under: Advice, Entertainment, WTF

18 Texts From My Cat, Puff Daddy, and the Secret to Blogging!

18 Texts From My Cat, Puff Daddy, and the Secret to Blogging!

The eulogy for Originality has been delivered.  In the world of themed cyberspace journaling, the creative oxygen machine that pumps new thoughts into the minds of bloggers i.e., bored housewives, bipolar teenagers, crazed introverts, closeted gays,  and struggling Asian writers, has long vented its final breath. Just on TUMBLR alone, over 120 MILLION Blog Posts are uploaded DAILY, and trying to discover something new or innovative will keep you busier than a blonde who is put … Read entire article »

Filed under: Advice, Entertainment, Nostalgia, WTF

The Bishop’s Duck Dynasty Christmas Wish

The Bishop’s Duck Dynasty Christmas Wish

Hello CTB Family, It’s your friendly, neighborhood, self-appointed Bishop here.  Today I would like to bring before you a Christmas wish.  I bring this wish before you because I believe you can help make it a reality. Don’t worry.  My request is simple.  I ain’t gonna ask you to buy two truck loads of meat snacks (that’s Evan the Mayor’s wish).  I ain’t gonna ask you to elect me King-O-City-Hall-with-Supreme-Authority-to Kick-Ass-and-Take-Names (that’s the Dennis the Cynic’s wish). … Read entire article »

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RELATIONSHIPS AND JEANS: Signs of Wear and 4 Things Guys Say That Signal Your Relationship Downfall.

RELATIONSHIPS AND JEANS: Signs of Wear and 4 Things Guys Say That Signal Your Relationship Downfall.

Relationships are like a pair of jeans. Every girl knows that in the wardrobe of life, finding that perfect pair of denim is difficult. The search can be long, frustrating, and draining. I know, as I made the mistake of going along with a female to the mall once to find a pair, and let’s just say accompanying Hobbits on their Journey to Mordor would have been an easier trip. After … Read entire article »

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What Not to Say When Someone is Grieving

What Not to Say When Someone is Grieving

Hello City that Breeds Family, It’s your friendly, neighborhood, self-appointed Bishop here.  Today I come to you with a heavy heart.  Last week my amazing, beautiful, enchanting  wife had a miscarriage.  Time has been disappeared in sorrow and pain.  We have drowned in tears.  The monster of grief follows both of us around, threatening to pounce and overtake us without warning, crippling us with despair. Grief is strange bitch that way.  It’s like the tide.  It crashes … Read entire article »

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Wham Bam Thank You Tam

Wham Bam Thank You Tam

The Self Induced Friend Zone and why “Can’t Fight This Feeling” is the greatest song ever! Defined as [Clean version]: a platonic relationship wherein one person wishes to enter into a romantic, i.e. sexual relationship, while the other does not or [Gangsta Rap version]: one person trynna f#ck, while the other ain’t trynna f#ck, the “Friend Zone” is a town in which most of us have passed through at some point in our lives, many have … Read entire article »

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BUCK UP BALTIMORE

BUCK UP BALTIMORE

Hello CTB Family, It’s your friendly, neighborhood, self-appointed Bishop here. I need to be honest with you today.  I’m a little down today concerning our charming city.  Last week the Washington Post was dissing our rats.  Then, we had a rough weekend (19 shootings, 13 people wounded, 8 people dead, 1 of those 8 was a pregnant woman).  Then, the icing on the cake for me was discovering this morning that the Wall Street Journal has labeled us the … Read entire article »

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SpaceManAndy’s Parting Advice

SpaceManAndy’s Parting Advice

Parting is such sweet sorrow. It’s been fun, guys and girls. I’ve been doing my advice column here for a few years now, and I’ve enjoyed every unpaid minute of it! But, it’s time for me to move on. Starting very soon, I’ll be doing my advice column over at The B, under the name OutWords as part of their Gay Matters blog (It will also be in print weekly in B). Yes, it will be … Read entire article »

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HOMOSEXUALITY AND SIN – THE BISHOPS TWO CENTS

Good Morning CTB family. Your friendly, neighborhood, self-appointed Bishop here.  Today I would like to tackle a sensitive issue with a simple request.  It’s one I’ve been thinking a lot about since Jason Collins came out of the closet. At first I wasn’t going to touch it because this is a humor blog, and the topic isn’t funny.  But today a conversation with a friend pushed me over the edge.  So here we go.  Here is my request… To all my fellow Baltimore Christians, please stop saying “the Bible says homosexuality is a sin.”   When you do so you reveal: A misunderstanding of sin, A misunderstanding of Jesus, And a misunderstanding of your job as one of his followers. Let me break down these misunderstandings for you one at a time. MISUNDERSTANDING SIN If you, like me, grew … Read entire article »

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SpaceManAndy’s Advice for Back in the Game

SpaceManAndy’s Advice for Back in the Game

Dear SpaceManAndy, I got out of a 6 year relationship about 8 months ago and have been enjoying getting back into the dating field. My problem is that one of the gentlemen I am seeing has been seeming like he’d like to get more serious than I am ready for. We haven’t discussed exclusivity and should it come up I will of course let him know that it’s not something I’m ready for yet. My question … Read entire article »

Filed under: Advice