The City That Breeds » Archive

10 THINGS WE HATE ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS!

10 THINGS WE HATE ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS!

    The sufferings of the Holiday season is upon us, and I am in desperate need of a deep freeze.  The only way I can bypass the inevitable annoyances lurking around that festive corner is by introducing my body to a temperature induced suspended animation, and enter into a cryogenic sleep. Fortunately, the demands of my day job as a Talent Director at a Czechoslovakian Brothel (shout out to my girls Svetlana and Hedvika) have been keeping … Read entire article »

Filed under: Advice, Entertainment, WTF

CHECKERS COMPLAINT LETTER. YOUR PHILLY CHEESE STEAK SUCKS AND YOU SUCK.

CHECKERS COMPLAINT LETTER.  YOUR PHILLY CHEESE STEAK SUCKS AND YOU SUCK.

Every so often, Checkers offers the “Bacon Philly Cheese Steak Sub”, which looks quite tasty.  I’ve never tried it, but have ingested my fair share of their flagship The BIg Buford, which sounds like a character on The Dukes of Hazzard, or the brand name of an oblong sex device. After YouTubing several fat Rednecks gorging themselves on this “Philly Sub” while making gobbling grunts, I knew I had to try it.  When a Redneck moans, you … Read entire article »

Filed under: Consumerism, Entertainment, Food and Drink, Mealtime, Reviews, WTF

CRAZY WHITE PEOPLE, AND 4 THINGS THEY LOVE!

CRAZY WHITE PEOPLE, AND 4 THINGS THEY LOVE!

  White people are a curious bunch.  They offer car financing, eat tuna fish sandwiches, drink Miller Lite, send their kids to summer camp, sit on the Bench in the NBA, purchase product protection plans on electronics, and whenever they gather in large numbers, they play Beer Pong and Cornhole. White people are just plain crazy, as evident in the crazy things they do such as recycle, make reservations, pay for their kids to go to college, … Read entire article »

Filed under: Advice, Entertainment, WTF

23 NEW TEXTS FROM MY CAT REESES, AND I LOVE ME SOME JEWS!

23 NEW TEXTS FROM MY CAT REESES, AND I LOVE ME SOME JEWS!

  I’m taking a quick detour from my regular Bloggie Route to deliver a follow-up edition of more ‘Texts from Reeses’, which only took up a portion of my last Bloggie (I‘ll post the link at the bottom for the uncool peeps who haven’t read them). This special blog package arrived due to the overwhelmingly positive feedback I got for Reeses, which really was just my drunk buddy slurring “Yo dawg… dat cat of yours be craayyy!”, and … Read entire article »

Filed under: Entertainment, Nostalgia, Uncategorized, WTF

18 Texts From My Cat, Puff Daddy, and the Secret to Blogging!

18 Texts From My Cat, Puff Daddy, and the Secret to Blogging!

The eulogy for Originality has been delivered.  In the world of themed cyberspace journaling, the creative oxygen machine that pumps new thoughts into the minds of bloggers i.e., bored housewives, bipolar teenagers, crazed introverts, closeted gays,  and struggling Asian writers, has long vented its final breath. Just on TUMBLR alone, over 120 MILLION Blog Posts are uploaded DAILY, and trying to discover something new or innovative will keep you busier than a blonde who is put … Read entire article »

Filed under: Advice, Entertainment, Nostalgia, WTF

4 Social Situations Where Men and Women are Different, and Why Both Sexes Will Never be Viewed Equally

4 Social Situations Where Men and Women are Different, and Why Both Sexes Will Never be Viewed Equally

  There should be equality in oral sex.  If I happen to be on the receiving end of this delightful action, I would immediately execute a like-kind exchange, and assume the Giving position. I also believe that men and women should VIEW each other equally.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen because just like cunninglingus and fellatio, men will always expect more and give less.  After all, it has been said that men think about sex every 52 seconds, … Read entire article »

Filed under: Entertainment

What the Holidays Mean and 10 Things We Hate About Them!

What the Holidays Mean and 10 Things We Hate About Them!

This is a hectic time of year, and I have found myself quite busy. The demands of my day job as a Talent Director at a Czechoslovakian Brothel, as well as my being an FBI Informant has left me minimal time to blog. However, I could not leave 2013 without giving you one last introspective rant, and since it being the Holidays, what better than to state why this Joyful and Merry time annoys the crap … Read entire article »

Filed under: Schadenfreude

The True Allure of Facebook, and 5 Not-So-Obvious Things we ALL do on Facebook That We Deny Or Downplay

The True Allure of Facebook, and 5 Not-So-Obvious Things we ALL do on Facebook That We Deny Or Downplay

Unless you are an Iron Chef, Life’s savory question is not whose cuisine reigns supreme, but rather why do we have an appetite for a taste of a life that is not our own? Instead of “socially networking”, Facebook’s slogan should be to “socially spy”. We are ALL stalkers to a certain degree on Facebook, whether we confess to it or not. Which got me thinking; what else do we do on this site … Read entire article »

Filed under: Entertainment

RELATIONSHIPS AND JEANS: Signs of Wear and 4 Things Guys Say That Signal Your Relationship Downfall.

RELATIONSHIPS AND JEANS: Signs of Wear and 4 Things Guys Say That Signal Your Relationship Downfall.

Relationships are like a pair of jeans. Every girl knows that in the wardrobe of life, finding that perfect pair of denim is difficult. The search can be long, frustrating, and draining. I know, as I made the mistake of going along with a female to the mall once to find a pair, and let’s just say accompanying Hobbits on their Journey to Mordor would have been an easier trip. After … Read entire article »

Filed under: Advice

Wham Bam Thank You Tam

Wham Bam Thank You Tam

The Self Induced Friend Zone and why “Can’t Fight This Feeling” is the greatest song ever! Defined as [Clean version]: a platonic relationship wherein one person wishes to enter into a romantic, i.e. sexual relationship, while the other does not or [Gangsta Rap version]: one person trynna f#ck, while the other ain’t trynna f#ck, the “Friend Zone” is a town in which most of us have passed through at some point in our lives, many have … Read entire article »

Filed under: Advice