Hello My Wonderful CTB Family,
It is your friendly, neighborhood, self-appointed Bishop here.
Today I’m going to get a little serious up in here. I’m going to go more “church” than usual.
“Why?” you ask.
Because there are some hurting people out there in our fair Baltimore that need encouragement and healing. We’ve got some people who need to feel the love. They need to hear the truth. Today, I’m going to bring the love and the truth.
You see CTB Family, in response to yesterday’s “Day of Silence“, Focus on the Family (a Conservative Christian Organization in Colorado) has declared today to be a “the Day of Dialogue.” They are encouraging high school kids to start conversations in their schools today regarding homosexuality. Specifically they want these high school kids to tell their homosexual friends that they are “sinning” – a.k.a. they are “making God angry with their sexuality.”
I know most of us can simply laugh this kind of stunt off and go about our day. We see reports like this and think, “Silly Conservative Colorado Christians. Why don’t you go smoke some weed and chill out?”
But there are others who are deeply wounded by these types of campaigns. I have many friends, for example, who grew up in the church. They were told that God was “angry” or “saddened” by our “sin,” that our behavior and choices had the power to separate us from God. They were told God was like a cosmic cop who watched from the sky with a ticket book in hand, waiting for them to do something wrong so he would have an excuse to send you to eternal jail.
Imagine now CTB Family, how this teaching felt when my friends began to wrestle with their homosexuality. I mean, in those same Sunday School classes we were taught to believe that being gay was one of the biggies. It was the heroine of sin – try it once and you are never coming back. Never. It’s over. Straight to Jesus Jail with you. Figuring out sexual and relational issues is rough enough without that kind of shame looming over your head.
I offer to you something a friend of mine wrote me last night. He said, “I’ve struggled so much with whether God loves me as a gay man. I just can’t believe his love. I argue, I talk, I pursue, but the drum beat of what was drilled into me so long ago always wins out so I just get depressed and defeated.”
I tend to stay our of this cultural conversation because I don’t enjoy beating my head against brick walls of unbending ideology, but today, since it is a Day of Dialogue, I’ll shall wade into the fray.
If you are like my friend, if you are homosexual and like my friend, you want to pursue God, but are depressed and defeated, please read the following words I sent to him and take hope:
The Bishop’s Response to a Depressed and Defeated Gay Friend:
Yesterday…
- I began the day by snapping at my kids in the morning because they were fighting over who got to pour cereal first.
- Ten minutes later, I stretched the truth on the phone to make myself sound more awesome than I am.
- Then, I got angry at a car in the lane next to me because the were being stupid.
- Then, I avoided talking to someone in the parking lot because I don’t like them.
- As I took the long route through the parking lot to avoid said person I don’t like, I had not so nice thoughts about them.
All of this occurred before 9:00am.
Were these things sins? I don’t know. Maybe? Maybe not?
It doesn’t really matter. God’s love for me (and you) is not based on our behavior or the choices we make.
So you’re gay. You’re still who you are. You’ve always been you. You’ll always be you. When I read the Bible Jesus is pretty clear. He loves you. He knows you. He is not surprised by you.
And here is the rebuttal to the lie that was told to us in Sunday school.
God isn’t angry at you.
There are things I do – like when I snap at my kids – that makes God sad. Not sad because now that I’ve done that thing he has to think less of me. Not sad because my actions have somehow damaged my relationship with God. But rather, God is sad because there was a fuller, more abundant choice for me than snapping at my kids.
Is your being gay a sin? That’s a conversation you and Jesus should have (and I’m sure you are having every hour of every day whether you want to or not because asshole, well-meaning, legalistic jerks are forcing you to with programs like the “Day of Dialogue”.)
But your conversation with God is none of my business. You and Jesus hash it out. If you want my opinion, ask and I will give it to you. If I ever have homosexual urges, I’ll call you and ask you how you’ve handled them. (Don’t worry, that phone call is unlikely at this point since I am a father of five in my thirties who really loves intimacy with my wife) .
But your homosexuality (sin or not) will never diminish God’s love for you.
Never.
Never ever.
If it could, then God didn’t love you in a 1st Corinthians 13 way to begin with.
And if it does then I’m screwed because I can be kind of a jerk and there is no way I’m earning anyone’s love.
Thus ends my Day of Dialogue.
May there be surprising grace, unexplained peace, and wild love in your day.
The Bishop of the CTB