The City That Breeds » Science » Bronies, Bronycon, Brony-ism: A Primer

Bronies, Bronycon, Brony-ism: A Primer

bronies

Our local Brony consultant known only as “Bronii-san” provides you with an introduction to the wild, wild world of Bronies, as Bronycon kicks off this weekend at the Baltimore Convention Center. Take it away, Bronii-san!

First, a little background. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (MLP:FiM) takes place in the land of Equestria. Lead character Twilight Sparkle is a stuck up academic with no friends, and is sent by Princess Celestia to Ponyville in hopes of curing her rampant douchbaggery. While there, TS meets many ponies (including flying Pegasus ponies, unicorn ponies, etc) and learns that she doesn’t always have to be a cunt. The story continues (season 4 starts in November!) as each of the ponies learns the magic of friendship. That’s the gist of it.

Bronies – a combination of “Bro” and “Pony” – are (mostly adult) male fans of this show and are gathering in Bronymore, Mareland for BronyCon, August 2-4 to celebrate their fandom. From talking with these folks for a few years now at various conventions and online, I’ve learned a few things about the Brony community.

Here’s what you need to know:

  1. Bronies dress up. If the cosplayer is not one of the MLP:FiM main characters, he more than likely created the character himself. If this is the case, most Bronies have RIDICULOUS explanations for why they chose their particular name & cutie mark, so go ahead, ask them about it. If they’re a “blank flank” (without a cutie mark,) they’re probably just a furry.
  2. Speaking of furries, be prepared, there’re going to be a lot of them here. There isn’t a “leash law” at this con, meaning if you have a mare or stallion you’re fond of, you’d better let the world know they’re yours… and what better way than a personalized collar and strap that boarders on light bondage? “Ponies of a tether…” are definitely fucking. (EvanTheMayor edit: WHAT THE CHRIST)
  3. Some Bronies sexualize (shocker) MLP:FiM characters. Everything from erotic (bestiality?) fan art, to serious pony-on-human monogamous relationships, this contingent of the Brony community will be in attendance at BronyCon. While this isn’t the vast majority of the fandom, these Bronies do exist, I mean, who could forget the guy who was engaged to Twilight Sparkle and wrote a cease and desist letter to a MLP:FiM artist who depicted his future wife in erotic art pieces?
  4. From Brony rappers like BronyMike to Brony DJs like DJ Pon-3, music is big with this group. Many of the artists are taking the stage for BronyPalooza on Friday and Saturday, where there will be plenty of Brony dance offs and awkward glow stick swinging. Disco biscuits are discouraged, but salt licks should be just fine.
  5. There was originally a minor, cross-eyed, character in several episodes nicknamed “Derpy Hooves.” Hell yeah, internet.
  6. From my conversations with Bronies, they seem to be 50/50 whether or not girls should be allowed to attend con or affiliate themselves with the Brony community. While you’ll hear many a Brony cite “acceptance” and “family” as their favorite aspects of Con, this apparently doesn’t apply to Pegasisters (a term used by some for female MLP:FiM fans). “Girls just don’t go through the same struggles that Bronies do as a result of our fandom.” [Picture your favorite “no girls allowed fort” meme here.]
  7. Like with any obsessive fandom, there’re tomes worth of shitty online pony fan fiction. One that bucks this trend (see what we did thar?) is entitled “Cupcakes”, which follows Pinkie Pie, who is slowly dissecting her (very much alive) friend Rainbow Dash so she can make her into cupcakes. No, really. Have a look: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Cupcakes
  8. If you find yourself downtown, cornered by a herd of Bronies and it looks like one may charge, throw a pair of panties on the ground at their feet. Their fear of the opposite sex will lead to confusion, and ultimately diminish the likelihood of a stampede. Crisis. Averted.
  9. There are not as many overweight neckbeard Bronies as you might think. I hesitate to use the word “normal,” but most Bronies look like any average person you might run into under normal social circumstances… you know, just with hooves, a mane and insignia on their ass. You can really see this in the official trailer for the documentary, “Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Adult Fans of My Little Pony”

10. Bronies really aren’t that strange. Sure, they’re into a show meant for little girls. OK, some of them want to be ridden like they’re trying to qualify for the Preakness. But like any other niche fandom, they’re just passionate about something they enjoy. Conventions like BronyCon give this community a chance to come together and share in that passion, and for three days, these Bronies (some for the first time) get to be among likeminded people.

-bronii-san

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  • TheLoveGoat

    Re #1. I’m not super versed on brony stuff, But is it possible, that “blank flanks” are…baby play ponies?

    • Blank Flanks refer to the more child like ponies that haven’t found their one true calling in life.

  • mv

    This simultaneously answers so many questions I had about Bronycon, while also raising a multitude more.

  • Sex In Baltimore

    I want in on this hot mess,

  • Luke

    I’ve spent my life trying to respect other people’s lifestyle choices. Now I know my life has been a lie.