The City That Breeds » Schadenfreude » SEEKING NAKED MAN CLERGY LOVE

SEEKING NAKED MAN CLERGY LOVE

Pope Ron Swanson
Dear CTB Family,

It’s your friendly, neighborhood, self-appointed Bishop here.  Today I come before you with a confused heart.   I am befuddled, flabbergasted, completely and utterly dumbfounded.

“Why? Why Bishop are you so confused?”

Well, I’m glad you asked.  Recently I saw the following advertisement on Craigslist:

Category: CL > Baltimore > All Personals > strictly platonic

Nudist Clergy – m4m (Annapolis Junction, MD)

As a clergyman who likes hanging around home naked, I thought it would be fun to get together with other clergy–or gay men who like being with clergy– to meet regularly in the nude. It’s so freeing and loose-diferent from our usual lives. Maybe we could have theological discussions, just simple chatting, grab a drink or two, meet a man that we are drawn to for a special friendship that might start the night we meet right here (we’re already naked), or later. We could meet at my apartment here near Laurel to begin.

I happen to be free tonight so it might happen right away if you’re free also. We don’t need to feel the shame Adam felt. We could, unlike him, be naked without shame.

It’s getting late, so let’s have fun bonding and connecting, there is no rational need for the emotional barriers men erect for themselves. Simply something society imposes but if we are discreet and mindful of others then warm attachments might be made. It has been a moderate summer but looks like it is going to get warm soon, I’m glad I have a pool and AC! I don’t have a diving board, and I am more comfortable with indoor fun. You?

My peoples, three questions immediately come to mind:

1) WHY YOU GOT TO BE SEXIST?

Don’t female clergy get discriminated against enough?  Why this man got to be hatin’ on the ladies?  They’re already pumpin’ away, tryin’ to make things happen in this boys club we call the pastorate.  Why aren’t the women welcome to sit around naked and discuss theology?  This post just goin’ to rub salt in the wound by tellin’ them they’re not even allowed to get naked and free.  I say if women clergy want to be naked, then let them be naked!  Freedom for female clergy!

2) WHY IT GOT TO BE CLERGY?

So I don’t know how many clergy you know, but we are not in general a physically beautiful group of people. Clergy tend to spend a lot of time inside.  We do a lot of reading and praying.  Most of our meetings with people happen at meal time.  We eat out a lot.  What I’m trying to say is that most of the clergy I know are not the type of people I want to see naked.  If this were like “Nudist Group for Hot Models” or “Nudist Group for Physical Trainers” it would make more sense.  You got to trust me.  No one wants to see a group of clergy naked.  No one.

3) WHY IS THIS BEING FILED UNDER “STRICTLY PLATONIC”?

Maybe it’s the poster’s strategic use of the words “erect”, “warm attachments”, and “connecting”?  Or it could be how he jumps into talking about a “special friendship” in the third sentence and then gets all run-on/excited with his writing?  But something is leading me to believe this guy is not actually looking to discuss theology.  I don’t think “strictly platonic” is where this post should be filed.

In conclusion, the Bishop does not care what you do in the privacy of your own home.  You can sit around naked and talk theology all day long if you want to.  All I’m tryin’ to say is that this post could have been better titled, “Sexually Repressed Lonely Clergy Looking for Naked Man Love”

Sincerely,

Your Friendly, Neighborhood, Self-Appointed Bishop of the CTB

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