SpaceManAndy’s Advice for What What in the Butt?

Dear SpaceManAndy,

I have a new guy in my life and he’s all about ass play, but I never really have been into it before. He tried the back door with me once, but it hurt too much and I told him to stop. I know a lot of people really enjoy it, and I’m ready to take the plunge. What do I need to know? How do I make it hurt less? What if some poop comes out?

What What in the Butt

Dear What What,

Welcome to the wonderful world of butts! I know it seems weird at first, but this can open up a whole new world of pleasure for you, especially if you’re a guy. Guys (and no, not just gay guys) have a prostate, which is essentially the male g-spot. If you rule it out, you’re making a mistake.

But whether you’re a guy or a girl, the first step is lubricant. The anus is not self lubricating. You know all those porn scenes where the guy uses spit and just goes for it? That doesn’t work in real life. Spit is not enough of a lubricant.

Just make sure it's super slippery.
Just make sure it’s super slippery.

If you’re new to lube, you don’t even have to go to a sleazy porn store to get lube. They sell it at pharmacies and even Walmart. KY and Astroglide are good places to start. I prefer liquid over gel, but that’s personal preference. If you want to get fancy, get Sliquid on Amazon. It’s all natural, and even vegan.

Second, go on some solo expeditions. It’s a lot easier and more comfortable when you can determine the speed and force being used. Remember to use a lot of lubricant. Start with something small; fingers work. Start with one, see about adding another, etc. Then you can work your way up to objects. Dildos are great, remember, you can always buy online to avoid embarrassment. If you use household objects or food, use discretion. things can get stuck up there, or even rip that soft tissue.

Here, honey, try this first!
Here, honey, try this first!

Once you’re comfortable with the sensation of putting things in your own behind, you can start letting your partner do it. One of the best ways to loosen yourself is to practice. Start by puckering. No, not your lips. It’s not hard, right? Well, pucker and release. Concentrate on what your muscles are doing when you release. Try to control the release. Once you master “opening up,” things become more comfortable for you, and it will make it better for your partner since you can essentially massage.

Except for your wiener.
Except for your wiener.

And yeah, it might hurt the first time. Try to sit on it first. You can ease your way down on it, and control the speed and force just like you practiced. Don’t be afraid to take a break or tell your partner to slow down. Trust me, they really want to put it in your butt, but they also really want you to enjoy yourself and not be in pain.

As for poop coming out, don’t engage in ass play if you have to poop. These are words to live by. That being said, it is a butt. Sometimes a little poop does come out. If you’re being safe and wearing a condom, it’s no big deal. And hey, if you didn’t want poop on your penis, you shouldn’t have put it in a butt. Also those moist flushable wipes are god’s gift to ass players.

I don’t know, I guess that could work. Maybe?


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *