Swedish Vodka megajuggernaut Absolut is continuing its “Cities” line this year with yet another US city to add to its long line of city-themed-and-subsequently-rebranded flavors (“Berry Acai” used to be “Los Angeles,” “Brooklyn” is now “Orient Apple,” which makes sense), revving up the Social Media 2.4 Synergy Lateral Marketing Engine ™ to find THE NEXT CITY YOU GUYS.
and OH BABY IT’S TIME TO NOMINATE BALTIMORE!
Can you imagine the taste possibilities? Crab Juice Vodka! Old Bay and Berger Cookie Blast! Natty Boh Vodka!
Plus the ad campaigns alone would be clutch:
Fortunately for Absolut, Baltimore already has an esteemed drink of its own that’s quite ready for bottling; The Baltimore Zoo. The Baltimore Zoo is in essence a Long Island Iced Tea with a bunch of different crap in it, but it has Baltimore in the name:
1 oz. Gin
1 oz. Rum, light
1 oz. Tequila, white
1 oz. Vodka
1 oz. Grenadine
6 oz. Orange Juice
Beer to taste
Mix all ingredients in a container of some variety on ice, chug.
Mmm mmm! Ready to go. Or maybe they could just bottle our harbor water? One helluva buzz off of that shit!