SpaceManAndy’s Advice for So I Fuck Republicans Now?

Dear SpaceManAndy,

There is a guy I know and seriously hate. I’m talking a deep, seething
hatred. He’s a douche, he’s misogynistic, he’s a Yankees fan, and he’s a
Republican. No, it’s not Glenn Beck (Ewww).

I see his face and I want to punch the ever-loving hell out of him.
Unfortunately, I also am extremely attracted to him and would like to have
have blind fury hate sex with him. How do I make this happen, and how do I
refrain from punching him in the face repeatedly during the grudge fuck?

Thanks,

-So I fuck Republicans now? in Baltimore.

Dear So I Fuck,

First of all, there’s nothing wrong with blind fury hate sex. Millions of married couples do it every year.

Now that we’ve established that hate sex is not such a bad thing, you can now fully appreciate the opportunity with which you’ve been presented. You can now have judgement-free sex! Everyone says that they don’t judge, but that’s simply not true. If you were bedding down with someone and he asked you to put on a garbage bag and call him Oscar the Grouch, you might oblige, but you would totally judge him.

Since you hate this guy, what do you care if he judges you? People always hold back with people they care about. You don’t care about this guy, quite the opposite, in fact. So, there you have nothing to fear. So ask him over so you can cook barefoot in the kitchen for him while he watches Glenn Beck, then let loose!

What’s the worst that could happen? You get to indulge your deepest darkest fantasies (possibly including punching his smug face repeatedly). That doesn’t sound too bad to me. Best case scenario is that he actually responds to your weird fetishes, then you have an awesome fuck buddy that won’t get complicated by the L word. You might even convince him that liberals aren’t so bad.

But probably not. He will most likely recoil in horror and his suspicions about liberals being degenerate heathens chipping away at the moral integrity of this great nation will be confirmed. I guess that wasn’t very good advice.

Maybe you should just steer clear.

I don’t know, I guess that could work. Maybe?
SpaceManAndy

If you want to keep reading my advice, I need more questions! Please send them in to advice@citythatbreeds.com

Thanks!