Dixon pleads not guilty; summons wizard as defense attorney

Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon plead not guilty today on multiple charges brought against her including theft and perjury, as the result of a four year probe by the state prosecutor’s office.

Despite the fact that her lawyer Arnold Weiner is a well known and seemingly effective defense attorney, the Dixon camp is seeking further courtroom aid – with the hopes of a victory – by securing the services of a wizard. A spokesman for Dixon claimed in a statement “We’re unsure as to whether we’ll be going with a Gandolf-type wizard, whose powers are fairly subtle and don’t involve a lot of flash, or perhaps a Harry Potter type wizard who will dazzle the jury with chain lightning and rainbows shooting from their hands. Either way, the use of legal and arcane wizardry will be necessary for her to win this case and we expect to use both to the fullest extent.”

sheilawizard

Wizard possibly hired by Dixon

Little is known about the names on the short list of wizards being groomed for hire by the Dixon camp. Due to their mysterious nature, the chosen wizard may only make his or her appearance for the first time in the courtroom, accompanied by a shower of sparkles or a puff of smoke. It is clear, however, that the hiring of a wizard by Sheila Dixon’s defense team indicates a heightened urgency, as the stakes for her position as mayor have never been higher. If convicted Dixon will be forced to resign from her position as Mayor, and the wizard will most certainly demand his bag of rubies.

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