This week’s question receives a gift certificate to Harborque! Keep those questions coming to advice@citythatbreeds.com!

Dear Spaceman Andy,

What is the most polite way to tell someone they cannot spend the night over after sex without having to say “Get your clothes on and get the f**k out – but untie me first?”

Thanks,

Ms. Hit-It-And-Quit-It in Baltimore

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See these dumb Google Ads on this site? They’re pretty worthless, for the most part; pixels I could be using for better things. Unless, of course, those better things involve a local charity that everyone tends to like, right? Which is why, starting today, I’m kicking off the Clicks for Cats (and Dogs, etc.) Campaign. Every click on these dumb ads yields a few pennies, and from today until the end of next month every single virtual penny earned by ad clicks and impressions will go to BARCS, and possibly save a few animal lives.

So scroll around, click on some stuff. Who knows, you might even buy something. Let our 3rd party advertisers pave the way for some neutered dogs!

Get started with this one!

A little less than 20 years ago, a fashion plate was born: Steven Q. Urkel. At the time, his personality and style choices were considered “nerdy,” “unlikeable,” “irritating,” “eye gougingly stupid looking,” and “some other hyperbolic term.” But as it turns out, he was just way ahead of his time. The gravity of this truth is so apparent I shouldn’t even need to make a list of bullet points regarding this fact, but then again I have at least another paragraph to blow through before displaying the photographic evidence. At any rate, Steven Q. Urkel Future Fashion Plate displays the following common characteristics seen in the modern F**king Hipster: Oversized Glasses Loudly colored apparel Tight, tight, tight, above-the-waist pants Socks that do not match Anything that doesn’t match at all Suspenders, bow ties, other laughable accessories Old timey shoes

…and so forth. Observe, as we admire a brief collection of those who were unknowingly inspired by Steve.

You don’t have time to read hoity-toity reviews by people with degrees in journalism or English, or use proper grammar or hardly make any sense at all, do you? Of course not! Which is why you should read these ADD reviews by Angry Mike, who has a penchant for watching movies (because he lives in the county and has no life). Enjoy!

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The official reviews are in, but it bears repeating: The Get Down (701 S. Bond St., Fells Point) is a great club, and it’s most likely here to stay. With a large amount of floor space to work with, an affordable drink list, and a decidedly mixed crowd in attendance, it carries the perfect vibe and approachability for Baltimore’s more discerning “anti-a-taste-of-Miami/DC/New York” set.

I spent a good long while at The Get Down for their grand opening this past Saturday and for the better part of two hours stared at their myriad of murals, light shows and hand-blown light bulbs (what?), featured in “The Edison Room.” If for no other reason in this world, you absolutely must hit up The Get Down and stare at their two story LED wall for a while. It’s mind boggling (see below for a lil’ taste).

Obviously myself and many of us in the city miss Fletcher’s, one of the few remaining tried and true rock bars left in Baltimore, but you know what Dylan says… the area surrounding The Get Down, with its luxury condos and Whole Foods mentality is better suited to support a club than a rock bar. Time will tell, but expect The Get Down to be around for a long, long time.